Hey guys, This is the Prologue from my book Just the Beginning and I want to see if anyone liked it before I continue writing. So here it is:
As Faye walked she thought of the past few weeks. The beasts attack, its prey seemed to be her and Adric. Then the trips to town in the fancy cars and the
talks she’d had with Lady Ashley. As far as she knew, no one knew of her talks with Lady Ashley. Madam Oscar would find out soon enough. She was smart that way, you couldn’t get anything past her without her finding out. Faye smiled. She reached the end of the hall and stopped at the door on the left. She took a deep breath and opened the door. She looked inside, the room was empty.
“Hmm…I wonder where everyone is.”
She walked around the room and stopped at the window overlooking the yard. She pretended to look out the window while listening for any noise. The floor creaked near one of the beds. She pretended not to hear it and slowly and quietly walked toward the bed. As fast as lightning she stuck her hand under the bed and grabbed something. Pulling it out to examine it took time. When she got it out before her was a leather box. She felt for a latch and found it on the side. She opened the box and inside was a smaller box. Around the smaller box were hundreds of marbles.
“No wonder it was so heavy.”
She picked up the box. It was beautiful, with lines swirling and dancing around the rim. Engraved on the lid were two names. She read them out loud. “To Ashley Smoke and Faye Ashwood.” She gasped and almost dropped the box.
“That’s my name!”
She tried to put the box down but it was glued to her hand. She shook her hand violently but it still stuck. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. As soon as she was calm the box fell into her lap. She stared at it in amazement and fear. Carefully she put the box back into the bigger box and pushed it back under the bed. She stood and quickly walked out of the room.
Hope you guys liked it! Please comment!
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 1:14 pm on November 10, 2011
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7 people like this post.
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I forgot to mention that if you don't like a certain part please tell me what I can do to make it better. Thx!!
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 9:04 pm on November 10, 2011
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I loved it
Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Your sure Caleb? Really sure cause you know you do have all of chapter one and part of chapter two. And I can't get anyone other than you to read it. JK ;)
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 9:11 pm on November 14, 2011
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Lol :d
Just the Beginning........Prologue....
oh my gosh!!!!! this is AWESOME!!!!!!!!!!!! i love you........(kinda creepy) YOU ROCK!!!
kennedy cahill amy and jake!4ever
hey please read! for me?! http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/8940 thanks i love ya-me
Posted at: 12:50 pm on November 15, 2011
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Um thanks! I'm shocked!! I didn't think anyone would like it. I can post more if you want.
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 1:12 pm on November 15, 2011
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
i!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!more!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *puppydog eyes* pwese?......
kennedy cahill amy and jake!4ever
hey please read! for me?! http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/8940 thanks i love ya-me
Posted at: 1:29 am on November 22, 2011
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Here's part of Chapter 1. I hope you like and enjoy!
The next day, Madam Oscar waited impatiently for the newest teachers of Mag Orphanage. Ashley and Gabriel Smoke were coming to train the children to defend themselves with things like blankets and branches. While she waited one of the girls was helping Madam Ilmas with some of the littler children. When she was done, she walked over and said “Are they here yet, Madam?”
“No,” replied Madam Oscar, “Not yet.”
“They’ll be here soon.” replied the girl.
“Oh I believe you Faye, you’ve always been good at this sort of thing.” She paused. “Now off with you, go get cleaned up. Oh and tell the others as well.” She gave Faye a warm smile.
“Yes, Madam Oscar.” Said Faye, and with that she turned, walked quickly up the stairs and down the hall till she was out of Madam’s sight. Madam Oscar turned back to the window. After a few minutes she walked away from the window, and about the room. As she walked she ran her hand along the walls which were scarlet red with golden flowers mixing with green vines. She looked at the furniture which was worn and lumpy. A fire place was on the wall opposite the door and a fire danced and blazed wildly. To the right of the door were a set of stairs, leading to the children’s room and nursery. To the left was a staircase leading up to a tower. As Madam Oscar looked about the room, she thought of all the children who called this old place home. There were about hundred children, and there were a few who didn’t have any family at all. Faye, Carl, and Adric were among that group. But they coped well, they were each other’s family. Carl was eleven and was always getting into trouble. Adric was twelve and always had his nose stuck in a book. Faye was nine but she could’ve fooled anyone. She was tall for her age, and was always willing to help. She often spent her time with the children younger than herself. As Madam started her third turn about the room, she glanced out the window, and saw two things running towards the Mag. She gasped and thought that the beasts were back. But as the things drew closer she saw the distinctive figures of a woman and a man. Madam Oscar stared out the window at them still running towards the Mag. She snapped out of her shock, and walked hurriedly to the stairs. She shouted “Everyone downstairs now! They’re here!”
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 9:32 pm on November 22, 2011
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Wow! I have tweaked and changed this story so much it's weird reading this! I got like 17 chapters now...
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 3:14 pm on June 8, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Another awesome story :)
30% lucian 20% madrigal 25% ekat
25% janus
JEDI padawan
LEPrecon
Help squad member
☮Not ALL VespersAreEVIL.☮
S.M.A.R.T scientist
C.V.P. Head Peacekeeper
Posted at: 6:32 am on June 12, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I really like this. Post more.
"Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read."
-Groucho Marx
http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/25621
Posted at: 10:13 am on June 12, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Do you have the new edition of this story on the MB? If you don't you should make a new post for it, so we can see!!! If you do can you give me the link?
Rosie
Rosie
“Be not afraid of greatness...achieve greatness... let greatness be thrustupon you.”- Me
Ekat Co-Leader
Rosie <3
Posted at: 12:13 pm on June 12, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I don't have one, but if you want I can make one...I just need to know so I can go back and do some edits...I've been putting it off cause edits aren't very fun...
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 10:10 pm on June 12, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Oh yes you should make one!!!!! I hate doing editing too... its AWFUL!!!!!! But extremely nessessary!!!!!
Rosie
Rosie
“Be not afraid of greatness...achieve greatness... let greatness be thrustupon you.”- Me
Ekat Co-Leader
Rosie <3
Posted at: 10:21 pm on June 13, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Okay! I'll start on editing as soon as I can! Probably tomorrow, I have one more night of VBS to do then I should be free Friday, and I have a 16th Birthday party to go to for my sister, on Saturday. So I'll do my best but it might be a few days...
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 11:33 am on June 14, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
This story is Awesomely Amazing!!! Yeah, I think every story I read is either Amazingly Awesome or Awesomely Amazing...
~An LIkes Pie
~An LIkes Pie
Ekaterina
Add ME!Please!
In case you haven't noticed, I'm Random!!!I like Pie
Member of S.M.A.R.T.
~An Likes Pie
Posted at: 2:55 pm on June 14, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Awesomeness!!! I can't wait!!!
Rosie
Rosie
“Be not afraid of greatness...achieve greatness... let greatness be thrustupon you.”- Me
Ekat Co-Leader
Rosie <3
Posted at: 1:24 am on June 15, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Good news! My mom asked me if I wanted to post some of this story on her blog! I think I'm gonna do it, to see if adults like it as much as you guys do. I still have to do some editing first...I forgot that we had friends coming over today, so I didn't get anything done! Sorry guys!
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 11:00 pm on June 15, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Hey, I think your story is really good! I'm impressed that you have 17 chapters. Do you type this on Microsoft word, or do you write it down? I write stories too, and I have one with 72 pages on Microsoft word, so I'm a pretty expereinced writer. And because of this, I'd like to make one word of caution to you (Okay, it's several words, but still). It's actually really smart that you haven't posted any more of your story here, because if you have plans to publish the story, you don't want to post so much of it that people can read it for free and not buy the book when it's published. However, if you want to put a little bit more on here, you can. And another thing, You don't need to worry about other people liking your story; if you like it, then someone else is going to like it. I learned that from Rick Riordan :)
And another thing, I don't want to sound like a commerical, but I'm starting a thread for Tips for Writers. It's fairly new, but I'd love to have you join the thread if you want.
And another thing, I don't want to sound like a commerical, but I'm starting a thread for Tips for Writers. It's fairly new, but I'd love to have you join the thread if you want.
Janus, Half-Blood, Artist, Musician, Author, V.F.D. Member, Kane Magician
The wind seemed to whipser that the past was very much alive
I'm with you, your with me; we're all together
Posted at: 1:52 pm on June 16, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
i cant wait for the rest of the story!
Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I liked it!!!!!!!!
the only bad thing I have to say is to give her more caracter.Is she arrogant?humble?deppressed?happy? you need to give her a more definite additude
Awsome
Might be coming back
Vesper(maybe)
um...
Posted at: 4:24 pm on June 16, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I tell you what, I will repost the Prologue to see what you guys think and if you like that then I might post a little more.
FieryDownpour4 - Yes, I had thought of that, and I'm still thinking about what to do. And yes I put it all on Microsoft word, I don't want to lose it.
I have been thinking about trying to get it published and my mom is all for me doing that, but I still have a lot of work to do to finish it completely. So we'll see...but thanks guys I'm so glad you like it!!
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 4:35 pm on June 17, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
MORE!!!
Louis Tomlinson
Niall Horan
Harry Styles
Liam Payne
Zayn Malik
One Direction
Posted at: 9:20 pm on June 17, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Alright! Here is the finished version of the Prologue!
As Faye walked she thought of the past few weeks. The beasts attack, its prey seemed to be her, which was no surprise. Then the trips to town in the fancy cars and the talks she’d had with Ashley. As far as she knew, no one else knew of her talks with Ashley. Madam Oscar would find out soon enough though. She was smart that way, you couldn’t get anything past Madam Oscar without her finding out. Faye smiled at the thought. She reached the end of the hall and stopped at the door on the left. She took a deep breath and opened the door. She looked inside, the room was empty. “Hmm…I wonder where everyone is.”
She walked around the room and stopped at the window overlooking the yard. She looked out the window while listening for any noise. The floor creaked near one of the beds. She pretended not to hear it and slowly and quietly walked toward the bed. As fast as lightning she stuck her hand under the bed, and struck her hand on a hard object. “Ouch!”
She pulled her hand out and rubbed it. Pulling it out to examine some took time. When she got it out before her was a leather box. She felt for a latch and found it on the side. She opened the box and inside was a much smaller box, around the box were hundreds of marbles.
“No wonder it was so heavy.”
She picked up the box. It was beautiful, with lines, like ivy vines, swirling and dancing around the rim. Engraved on the lid were two names. She read them aloud. “To Ashley Smoke and Faye Ashwood.” She gasped and almost dropped the box.
“That’s my name!”
She tried to put the box down but it was glued to her hand. She shook her hand violently but it still stuck. She took a deep breath and tried to calm down. As soon as she was calm the box fell into her lap. She stared at it in amazement and fear. Carefully, she put the box back into the bigger box and pushed it back under the bed. She stood and quickly walked out of the room.
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 7:03 pm on June 19, 2012
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1 person likes this post.
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
AWESOME!!!!!
30% lucian 20% madrigal 25% ekat
25% janus
JEDI padawan
LEPrecon
Help squad member
☮Not ALL VespersAreEVIL.☮
S.M.A.R.T scientist
C.V.P. Head Peacekeeper
Posted at: 2:00 pm on June 20, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I'm gonna do it! I'm gonna give my mom the prologue and she's gonna post it on her blog!!! I'm so excited! But incredibly nervous!
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 9:48 pm on June 20, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
What do you guys think? Do you like to old version or the new one?
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 2:43 pm on June 23, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I like both of them!!!!!!!!!! I want more story though!!!!
Louis Tomlinson
Niall Horan
Harry Styles
Liam Payne
Zayn Malik
One Direction
Posted at: 9:51 am on June 24, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Both are awesome.
30% lucian 20% madrigal 25% ekat
25% janus
JEDI padawan
LEPrecon
Help squad member
☮Not ALL VespersAreEVIL.☮
S.M.A.R.T scientist
C.V.P. Head Peacekeeper
Posted at: 8:15 am on June 25, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
I'm getting great responses!!! Not just from you quys! One of my moms friends from Australia is an auther herself and she loved it! I'm so excited! But I'm surprised at how many of my friends didn't know that I wrote, it just never accurd to me that no body knew! Anyways thanks guys you've made my morning spactacular!
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 10:40 am on June 25, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
nice
“…But the man brushed the butterfly away, and walked on.”
The Sands of Time
6
Posted at: 1:11 pm on June 25, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Hey guys! Just to let you know I am almost sure that I'm going to go bigger with this book...maybe publish it even...but I don't know if I'm gonna post more, I might though. Um I'm posting Chapter 1 or part of it on my mom's blog again on July 9th. For those of you who know who she is. I'll try to check back in later this week, thanks guys! Later! - MK
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 4:03 pm on June 26, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
just posting to find it later.
House of Anubis is AWESOME!!!
Beware, cause I'll PSYCH U OUT IN THE END!
Posted at: 8:05 am on June 27, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
It's almost the 9th!! I will post part of chapter 1 then....
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 4:20 pm on July 7, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Chapter 1 -
After supper, Madam Oscar stared out of the window of the front hall watching the wind blow the grass and leaves, waiting impatiently for the newest teachers of Mag Orphanage. Ashley and Gabriel Smoke were coming to teach the children to defend themselves with household items. The attack on the orphanage had nearly killed two children and wounded others. While she waited, one of the older girls, Faye, was helping Madam Ilmas with some of the smaller children, ushering them quickly into the kitchen to wash up. Madam Oscar found the sound of shuffling shoes on the old wood floor comforting. When she was done, Faye walked over and asked, “Are they here yet, Madam?” “No,” replied Madam Oscar. “Not yet.” “They’ll be here soon,” replied Faye “Oh, I believe you Faye. You’ve always been good at this sort of thing.” She paused, looking intently at the child for a moment. “Now off with you, go get cleaned up. Oh, and tell the others as well.” She gave Faye a warm smile. “Yes, Madam Oscar,” said Faye, turning to walk quickly up the few stairs, down the hall and out of Madam’s sight. Madam Oscar looked back out the window. After a few minutes she turned away to walk about the room. She ran her hand along the scarlet red walls, tracing the golden flowers and emerald green vines with her fingers. She looked at the lumpy and worn furniture as she walked past the fire place opposite the door, and felt the soothing warmth of the fire which blazed and danced wildly. Her skirt brushed the bottom step that led to the children’s rooms and nursery before she turned near the front door and passed the second staircase leading up to the east tower. As Madam Oscar looked about the room, she thought of all the children who called this old place home. There were about a hundred children. Most of their families just didn’t want them, although there were a few who didn’t have any family at all. Faye, Carl, and Adric were among the latter group, but they coped well. They were each other’s family. Fourteen year-old Carl was constantly into trouble while fifteen year-old Adric always had his nose stuck in a book. Faye was just twelve but she could’ve fooled anyone. Tall for her age, she was always willing to help and often spent her time with the children younger than herself. As Madam started her third turn about the room, she glanced out the window and saw two figures running towards the Mag. She gasped and thought that the beasts were back, but as the things drew closer she saw the distinctive figures of a woman and a man. Madam Oscar stared out the window at them still running towards the door. She snapped out of her shock, and walked hurriedly to the stairs. She shouted up the stairs. “Everyone downstairs now! They’re here!” Madam Oscar paced the floor, wringing her hands together and yelled up the stairs again.
***
When Faye first left Madam Oscar’s side, she decided that she would tell Carl, Adric and the other boys to get cleaned up first. They always went fairly quickly. Most of the girls, not including herself, took forever it seemed. Yes, I’ll tell them first, get myself cleaned up then tell the other girls, she thought. She passed the nursery and girls’ rooms. When she reached the end of the hall, she knocked on the boys’ door. Nothing. She knocked again. Still nothing. Hmm…She leaned her head against the door and listened. She heard nothing. That’s strange. Should I go in? No. Madam said that all girls mustn’t go in unless there is an answer at the door or we have special permission. But then again I didn’t hear anything and most of the boys were in the cellar, so I guess it would be okay to look. She opened the door. The room was empty. Hmm…this is really strange. She walked to the window and stared out. Darkness had fallen, and when she drew near the glass, she could feel the cold. Again she heard the creak in the floor near one of the beds. But the noise came from across the room, nowhere near where she’d found the box. She walked towards the noise, bent down and grabbed something underneath the bed, this time with more caution. Faye took a deep breath, slowly pulling the object out into the open. It was a chest just like the first one. Faye licked her lips and looked over the box. It looked exactly the same. She traced one of the designs with her finger before feeling the side of the box for a latch. Her fingers touched a cold metal knob. The latch. Faye looked at the ceiling, sending up a silent prayer. She turned the knob and lifted the lid. She closed her eyes for a moment, afraid of what might be inside. “Don’t back out now,” she told herself. “You’ve come this far. You can look inside a box.” Faye opened her eyes and looked down. Marbles filled the floor of the box, but in the center of a small raised platform sat a piece of paper. Faye picked up the paper and found a message inscribed to her. It said: Call to Me and I will answer. This is clue number One. It is the start of your journey to find all Three. Keep it safe. In the box is a secret to your past and future. Retrieve it. The only way to unlock it is to find all three clues. You may seek help from one person and only that person. You know of whom I speak. At this very moment she is running to your door. Faye stood and ran to the window. Peering through the fast growing darkness she saw two figures running towards the Mag. She gasped. It’s Ashley! But how did…. She looked down at the note in her hands and read the last line. Confide only in her till the time comes. Good luck Faye Ashwood. Faye went back to closed the box. She neatly folded the note and put it in the pocket of her dress and walked over to the other side of the room. She knelt and reached under the bed, and pulled out the first chest she’d discovered yesterday. When she opened the lid she closed her eyes and drooped her head. The little box was gone.
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 9:45 am on July 9, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
AMAZING!!!!!!
30% lucian 20% madrigal 25% ekat
25% janus
JEDI padawan
LEPrecon
Help squad member
☮Not ALL VespersAreEVIL.☮
S.M.A.R.T scientist
C.V.P. Head Peacekeeper
Posted at: 5:10 pm on July 12, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
Sorry about the paragraphs! I'll try to remember for the next post to fix that. Um the next one should be on the 23rd, but it might be earlier or later. I'm leaving for Kentucky again on the 20th and won't be back till the 29th, but this time we're going to Ohio as well. Yeah me...(she said half heartedly) but we'll see. More to come later!
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 1:51 pm on July 15, 2012
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Just the Beginning........Prologue....
My Mom and I are getting together tonight to do the final edits of the rest of Chapter 1 and it should be up tonight or early tomorrow morning...
MyKala
An Oracle of Fire born
To sacrifice and bleed,
For hungry souls, I spend my life
To meet their every need.
-Bryan Davis, An Oracle's Call
Posted at: 10:35 am on July 19, 2012
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