Hey, thanks so much for clicking this. These are three chapters of my second series's first novel that I'm going to send to Random House Australia as soon as its finished. The novel so far is about 457 A4 pages long and over 127, 000 words. PLEASE GIVE LONG REVIEWS (not reviewing them all here, but a review for each link at that link). Now first off is an explanation of what the WAND is. The WAND is Jex's mechanical alchemy weapon, a metal staff which acts as a projectile tool for alchemy elixirs and magick potions. WAND stands for 'Weaponised Alchemy Nostrum Dynamo'. And as for information about the Demons in my novel series, here is a small sneak peek of what one experienced character said about them: the ghost of William Shakespeare posessing his skull.
“Oh, God no. Tis appropriate to label a Demon as a monster, they are not from this world…they should not exist in any yonder. They are Dark Gods; monumentally powerful, gruesome, and omnipotent Gods of darkness and catastrophic destruction everywhere they go, they are mutually spirit and flesh. The rascally monstrosities’ true solid forms can evaporate into intangible essences and back to possess Earth’s beings in spirit forms and devour them lucratively in true forms…for their delight. These evil abominations are from a torturous parallel dimension of woe, agony and tortured souls right next door to our reality, neighbouring Earth closer than any other dimension: Hell. Notwithstanding of Hell’s anarchic realm of pain and hellfire, the Dark Gods do hath a chain of command and those prominent of the infernal hierarchy are considered as the almighty and major Dark Gods christened Archdemons: leaders of the minor Dark Gods known as the lesser Demons, just Demons. Despite Archdemons’ power, they can solely possess the dead. If they possess the living, they would lose themselves and all which would be forsaken within the possessed being would be the Archdemon’s power, above and beyond it yields a lot from a willing soul of our dimension’s secular planes. Whereas the less significant and childishly yet wildly mischievous Demons are capable of crossing over to Earth through Abysses, unsealing and resealing rifts between universal dimensions in the majestic blue, Abysses seem to hath forbidden Archdemons from inflowing them. Beneficial to the world too, otherwise it would be end of the world as we know it… lucidly Archdemons are much crueller than the vicious Demons. Take heed of the Dark Gods, children. Be careful if your heart’s desire is to stay alive in their presence.”
http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/12433 - These are summaries of my novels I wrote that I'm going to send to Random House Australia since they accept unsocicated (sp?) work. Can you please comment on them! I want people to know about them so that when they are published, you'll know I wrote them.
http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/13140 - This a sneak peek of the last chapter of my second series's first book. I want reviews of it, for people to know that I wrote the book when it comes out, and to actually know about the series to get you excited enough to start collecting the series.
http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/13947 - This is another sneak peek of the second series's first book, to be specific Chapter 24. Again, I want reviews, people to know about it, know I wrote it, and get excited enough to read the series when they come out.
http://www.the39clues.com/messageboard/show/17659- Sneak peek of Chapter 18. Please review this one too.
Part one of the three chapter sneak peek.
Chapter 49: Young Men may die, but Old Men must die.
Earl looked forward to retirement; he was excited for days of long naps and nights of bingos with confused women close to his own age. He had been a night janitor for London’s St James Palace for far too long, the ancient palace’s history was fulfilling, but cleaning the humongous ‘classy’ house was too big of a task for one old man with a sore spine. He was in the middle of mopping the marble floor, of whiteness and identical and minuscule black squares, next to each side of the elaborately decorated red carpet. Every now and then, he was tempted to gaze up at the golden panels of religious murals, windows of scenes prisoning disciples and heaven’s angels. In the daytime, the entire foyer was beautiful to any being’s eyes. Nevertheless, Earl already knew the night unveiled the palace’s dark menacing side, the blue creased pillars of the next level’s two individual walkways from end to end appeared to Earl’s eyes as bars of a cage for a beast as big as the room itself. The two stairwells attached by one small walkway on top and the smaller third stairwell at the bottom were dressed in the same ornate red carpet as the middle of the bottom level’s floor, in the dark they were waterfalls of flowing blood from the victims the building consumed. And the walls’ windows to heaven revealed themselves as doorways to Hell in the gloom as the fiery and soulless eyes stared down at him. Earl really needed to retire; the palace’s dark side twisted his mind far too many times.
He may have been half deaf, but even he could hear the series of noises horrendous to any being’s ears. Earl turned down his hearing aid, the noises remained intact, echoic and childish giggles of a million homicidal voices, playful yet too vicious to ever to be dominated by ordinary children up to mischief. For a foolish second, Earl thought some young tourists were left behind, another second zoomed by for him to realise the palace wasn’t open to the public. Did his frail mind finally snap? Had he fallen down to the awry lough of dementia? The wicked giggles and cackles reverberated over and over somewhere down the hall; deep within the creepy and silly laughs were words, the spoken words were as shrill and disturbing as a wrecked violin. The whiny and outlandish voices intriguingly repeated the words as whispers.
“Come and play.”
“We’re going to have so much fun.”
“Don’t be an icky spoilsport.”
“Pretty please with yummy sugar on top?”
“I so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so swear to not bite.”
Earl didn’t know what to think, the idiosyncrasy of the multifaceted voices was babyish and yet some of them were low as any adult voice despite the shrillness. Earl dropped his mop, he was certainly agitated by these eerie voices, but the urge to see who or what the voices belonged to had carried him forth down the hall submerged in spine-chilling shadows. He thought over of what could possess such torturous voices, he heard repeatedly from the guards over the years that the palace was haunted by the gruesome Ghost of a valet, slaughtered with a bloody blade of a sword by the Duke of Cumberland from his last minute as a living being. The Ghost had been rumoured to have a throat slit from ear to ear as a gorge to his dying insides, and the distinguishing stench of fresh blood. The guards mentioned occasionally that the valet’s Ghost had a sword for a hand to slice through unsuspecting quarries’ necks, to make everyone suffer the same way he did by the Duke. Earl had never believed the legend before; he thought it was a joke by the guards to scare ‘Old Bers-Earl-k’, now he wasn’t quite as sure. If the guards were dumb enough to create a terrible pun name for him, they weren’t smart enough to make up a truly horrifying tale. Was the Ghost of the valet real? If so, was he calling to Earl? Was he luring Earl to his trap with his ghostly whispers? Earl sure hoped not. He didn’t want to die on his last night in the palace before the paradise of retirement; nevertheless curiosity possessed Earl and controlled him to keep moving forward to the source of the voices.
The giggles and whispers’ volume overwhelmed Earl’s weak as he crept closer to the window at the end of the hallway and the middle of its ‘T’ shaped intersection. Earl dared to peep through the faintly frosty and fogged window; the palace’s guards in tall black bearskins and bright red uniforms had been gathered together in one sport outside for the Queen’s Guard Mounting, where the guards switch shifts in an unnecessary formal process. It was the guards’ last Queen’s Guard Mounting; zooming blurs of red minced the guards into shreds of flesh and sprays of blood with their talons, all throughout the guards’ upsetting screeches of pain and the blurs’ shrilly giggles and whispers. The guards’ black hats were ripped apart and spat out by some of red whooshing blurs’ unseen mouths, whereas the rest of the blurs grasped onto the guards’ heads. Their talons pierced through the guards’ skulls, and ruptured them into explosions of bone shards, as if their heads were nothing more than fragile eggshells. Their creamed brains oozed through their heads’ cracks, like chunky yet gooey yolk. One giggling red figure even torn off a guard’s head from his neck by his black hat, the cackling and whispering blurs devoured all the guards together as a mess of gushing blood and flying chunks of meat in nanoseconds, forsaking the guards’ skeletons dressed in grated uniforms. The pack of red speedy blurs finally stood shock-still and unintentionally exposed to Earl of what they truly were. The sight of the abominations was too unbearable for Earl’s eyes, something he wasn’t meant to see. Surprisingly much worse than their feast frenzy.
The monstrous deities eerily turned their heads in a slow pace over to meet with Earl’s frightened eyes, they continued to giggle and whispers. The infernal divinities flapped their wings and sailed for the window; Earl wheezed and ran for his life as fast as his weak legs could take him down the hallway, which wasn’t very fast for a man of his short stature and age. With every step in his sprint, a rasp fled out of his weedy lungs. Midway, he whirled his strained neck round and observed the insufferable sight of all the grotesque immortals; they all swarmed through the window and shattered the glass in a fireless explosion. Whether they flew like behemoth bats, galloped like demented four legged beasts, or crawled along the walls and the ceiling like breakneck spiders, those things were going to catch up with Earl real quick. Their whispers and giggles were the only sounds forever contained in Earl’s ears.
One of them appeared to be the leader of the pack and flew ahead of the others. Earl’s feet tried to stay ahead of the freaks, he didn’t have time to race down the stairs, he grasped hold of the railing straight in front of him and vaulted over. Maybe it was the stupidest idea he ever had, he crashed down onto the rock-hard floor and cracked his damn back. So this might be Earl’s death? Killed by a pack of rabid monsters in the dark? Stupid spine. He steadily pulled himself onto his feet and was now face to face with the monstrosity’s frail stomach, Earl’s head shakily rose up at its head towering over him, and it giggled impishly with a throat of a thousand different shrill voices. It could be the ugliest face of horrors he had seen in years. Its unfeasible mouth grinned and its bizarre hand grappled onto Earl’s mandible, its leathery flesh burned Earl’s wrinkly skin to the point where he continuously screamed from the scorching pain. He swore he saw smoke from his jaw.
“Smile, smile, pretty, pretty.” The unearthly creature cackled with its crowded voice, and headed for Earl’s open mouth.
Earl blacked out there and then, gratefully to not see the hideous face anymore. Something way different: his personality faded away, his thoughts evaporated into oblivion; his control over himself vanished into thin air within himself.
Earl was gone.
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 8:16 am on May 6, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Part two of my three chapter sneak peek.
St James Palace wasn’t as enormous as Roxy remembered, on the other hand the Tudor building, of ancient red and brown bricks, was certainly longer than the palace she saw as a little girl. In between the three storey walls of white windows was a vast entrance with two towers which should belong to a medieval castle, and a gleaming diamond clock. Roxy thought of the palace was a bizarre crown for a giant evil queen in the dark, whether from the distance when she was inside a zooming black taxi or up close right now, far past midnight. Despite its disappointing height, the palace was unnerving as if it was a haunted mansion from either a cheesy cheap horror film, or an expensive and cheesier slasher flick. After all she suffered through in one day and night; she didn’t want to come face to face with a real life slasher inside the palace.
“Are you sure this is the right place?” Roxy turned to Luxor; he shook in his boot by fright and chills.
Luxor glared at his sister like she was an idiot. “How many St James Palaces do you know?”
“I meant is this location the tooth’s message indicated?”
“Definitely. You see ‘I flew to my realm's mother’ clearly meant England as that was where American colonists came from. As for the ‘as a dove for peace’ part, Thomas Jefferson came to England with John Adams to have a treaty signed. ‘Only to have been spat upon by King Nick Bottom, king of the daft mules’ told us of the time Jefferson came to King George the Third for him to sign the treaty, only to have been treated disrespectfully by the mulish king. Nick Bottom was Shakespeare’s character in The Midsummer Night’s Dream whose head was turned into one of a donkey, therefore---”
“The message also indicated that George the Third was acting like an ass.” Jex interrupted Luxor, finishing off the explanation.
Luxor cleared his throat as if he was a snobby professor. “If you want to put it simply, yes. But George wasn’t acting like an ass, he was an ass. Anyway, it all happened here in St James Palace, that’s why we’re here.”
Something bugged Roxy’s mind as an irritating fly inside. “But what about the last bit about the whole ass king thing? ‘Loom the fair queen Titania with her iron will and a sequence of sharp tongues. She may have a severe façade on the outside, albeit her inside soul is as deep as the nocturnal heavens of the afterlife itself’. That’s just rubbish poetry.”
“Once again, Roxy, it’s a riddle. It’s not supposed to make sense; I suppose we’ll find out when we’re inside.”
Luxor gulped.
“You’re terrified to going in, aren’t you?”
“I’m ready to vomit out of fear if you ask.”
“Uhh…no thanks. What’s the big deal? It’s just another old building.”
“No, it’s certainly not ‘just another old building’! ---”
“Really? I think you need glasses.”
“I’m not going to tell you how this is the St James Palace, I’m not going to explain to you how this is an official building of the royal family. I don’t need to remind you that it’s restricted to the public, and I especially don’t think I need to put in plain words of how we could get arrested for breaking-and-entering a building of the Queen.”
“It sounds like you did; you need a new brain, too.”
“You’re not that funny.”
“Yep, you definitely need a new brain soon, I recommend a better one.”
Jex hissed an announcement in the hushed tone. “The coast is clear, there are no guards around.”
Luxor groaned. “Why are you whispering? There’s no one around.”
Jex continued to whisper. “Whispering makes everything much cooler, makes you all sneaky and stuff. You know what would make this much cooler, a soundtrack. Like the one from James Bond.” And out of nowhere, he started to hum James Bond’s theme song.
“I need new siblings.”
Roxy grinned mockingly at him, pressing his buttons was tons of fun. If she didn’t, she wouldn’t be a normal big sister. “Too bad, you’re stuck with us, baby brother.”
Each younger sibling of Jex Zodiac constricted one of his hands, ready for the treacherous journey ahead of them. He gradually placed on foot onto one of the palace’s brick walls and suddenly sprinted upwards, as if he was running along the footpath back on the ground. Roxy was grateful her brother’s feet stayed onto the wall, as opposed to dangling from his hand.
She focused most of her attention on looking up instead of down, until Luxor whined. “I’m not a baby; I’m far more mature than an infant.”
Let the button pushing begin. “I didn’t call you a baby brother because of your age, it’s because you’re a cry-baby.”
“If I were a baby, you would have to change my filled nappy.”
Roxy hesitated, yet continued to provoke him in a jokingly overdramatic manner. “Curse you babies and your evil logic.”
Jex skidded to a halt up the wall, he arrived at their destination: a window on the third floor, and he dragged the lightest Zodiac of the group up to the windowsill. Still twitching with apprehension, Luxor wrapped some of his T-shirt around his fist and punched through the glass, he saved his hand from the stinging pain of glass shards in his flesh and his arm sunk through the jagged hole. With one flick of the lock, Luxor pulled out his arm and pushed the window open like they were transparent double doors. He hopped through the agape window and into a corridor, just in time for Jex to drag Roxy and himself inside. Roxy was unsettled on the second she stepped in; the wide corridor was drenched in both intense darkness and redness as of unseeable walls, close to being the same colour as thick pools of blood. The tall walls were ornamented with various antiques, enormous menacing paintings, and shadowed suits of arms, all the eyes froze onto her. Roxy sensed the exact same feeling she had back at the Holy Trinity Church of everything watching her movements, she didn’t know if the palace’s murky darkness was beneficial to her or not. The Zodiacs were fully inside the building and skulked through the twisted labyrinth of indistinguishable corridors to find a, Roxy glared cautiously at the walls hidden in the glooms. Ever since she unearthed the secrets of Ghosts, Demons, other monsters, and magick, she already faced enough Ghosts for one night, but as for everything in the supernatural…anything could happen in a place like a Tudor palace. Nervousness had no longer gobsmacked her body; it was overpowered by excruciating boredom. At least boredom was better than to have the chilly talons of the church’s Ghosts plunged into her flesh again.
“I hate finding clues, it takes so long,” Roxy moaned agonisingly. “I fancy the part where we beat up bad guys and the undead.”
Luxor tilted his head and nodded. “Understandable, you are insane.”
“Not insane. I’m passionate of the combat arts.”
“No, definitely insane. Insane is the right word.”
“Shouldn’t babies have trouble talking?”
“Or spit up on their older sisters?” He added.
“Umm…” Roxy hesitated once again; the stress must’ve gone into her head.
Jex sniggered, he spoken to her without a swing from his head. “Give up, Roxy. He won.”
Apparently Luxor thought it was appropriate to bow down slightly. “Thank you, Jex.”
“A baby winning an exchange of wit is highly impressive.”
“I’m ready to spit up onto you, too.”
“You are such a…” Jex chuckled and stopped midway as something else caught his attention. “…cabinet.”
“I’m a cabinet?”
“No, I found something.” Jex raced further down into the corridor’s shadows, Roxy and Luxor had no choice but to follow him.
Thank goodness he stopped running after only a few metres down the corridor and not a maze dozens of mind-bendingly identical barriers of streaming blood and buoyant eyeballs, Roxy would’ve been exhausted as she wasn’t as fast as her older brother. Luxor would be a lot worse; he would’ve panted like an elderly dog and vomit from overtiredness. She hoped he wouldn’t vomit on her feet right when they ended their short trek to Jex. He would have to pay for that mess. Either his money or her revenge, Roxy would prefer the money. Roxy and Luxor gazed up at Jex’s monumental discovery, a dusky goddess of metal against the wall, taller than even Jex. Her smooth face was eerily beautiful, too beautiful for a cold and intimidating cabinet, her figure was curvy like a pharaoh’s sarcophagus, and her streamlined arms were crossed at the front as if she was a sleeping Vampire. Her slimming corset dress engraved into the metal appeared to be one for an empress of Hell, whereas her holy crown arched over her long-haired head reminded Roxy of a halo for a queen of Heaven’s angels. And her hollow eyes stared through the children’s souls, the holes of her eyes beaconed the Zodiacs to creep closer. Light and darkness brewed into one unique Iron Maiden.
Jex repeated a relatable part of the tooth’s etched message. “Loom the fair queen Titania with her iron will and a sequence of sharp tongues.”
“You’re right, Jex,” said Luxor, dazed by the stunning casket of torture. “This has to be where the next clue is. ‘Loom the fair queen Titania’, Titania was the fairy queen in the Midsummer Night’s Dream and was pictured as a maiden, ‘with her iron will’ symbolised about her being made out of iron. And ‘a sequence of sharp tongues’ tells of the spikes inside. This could be it.”
“You’re worrying me that you read about fairies.”
“Just shut up and open it.”
Jex’s lanky fingers slithered up to the freezing iron and towed the body’s doors apart. Roxy could hardly breathe, the anticipation for the next clue inside gripped by her throat, the doors drew further apart as if they were magnets with identical poles, unable to attract to one another. Roxy’s patience melted away quickly as opposed to the doors’ leisureliness. Her foot taped irascibly and its thumps echoed throughout the grand corridor. Irritated fury boiled her blood; both anticipation and impatience were killing her. Did Jex have to be so slow? Roxy didn’t care if Jex was trying to be dramatic; she needed to know what the clue was right now. Roxy groaned, she tugged Jex’s arms off the doors’ edges, she opened the doors herself with swift swings from her quick hands and the doors crashed into the wall behind them with two thunderous metallic crashes like giant cymbals.
Jex gripped onto his ears, stunned by the enormous sound vibrations. “Why did you do that?”
“You were too bloody slow.” Roxy muttered. She was disappointed by what was inside the Iron Maiden. Nothing, there were only hundreds of pristine spikes within the body and inside both doors, capable of turning a man into Swiss cheese from the front and back. There were no clues forsaken by Thomas Jefferson. “Damn.”
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 8:55 am on May 6, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Part 3 of the three chapter sneak peek.
Chapter 50: The Iron Maiden
“Where is the clue, Luxor?” Jex was about to search the Iron Maiden, until he remembered the spikes.
Luxor sighed in defeat. “Sorry, Jex. I’m out of ideas. Maybe the clue was taken years ago by a Eureka agent or an Alliance agent.”
Theories and ideas befallen into Roxy’s mind as she rubbed her chin, they already found the other clues so no one else would’ve found their latest clue before them, and Jefferson wouldn’t stop the trail with a dead-end for his own amusement. He needed to protect the magick artefact, for crying out loud! Not play a prank on his fellow Eureka agents. And then it hit her. “There’s more! There’s more to the clue, ‘She may have a severe façade on the outside, albeit her inside soul is as deep as the nocturnal heavens of the afterlife itself’, this could mean something. It could be saying there’s more to her than the shallow insides we see. And the message mentioned ‘sequence of sharp tongues’, maybe the word ‘sequence’ was emphasised as a number or code sequence to open something, not ‘sequence’ as in a group. Perhaps the spikes are like buttons; the ones in the body are the ‘buttons’ you have to push to open…uhh…something, and you can tell which number each of the body’s spikes are by simply counting them, like the second spike on the first row on the top is number two.”
Luxor scoffed smugly. “And I thought you hate finding clues.”
“I still do. I just want to get this over with; I prefer the part where we defend ourselves.”
“You mean hit people.” He nodded.
“Exactly.”
“You have such a violent nature.”
“I think I should demonstrate on you.” Roxy grinned. It was official; teasing Luxor was so much fun.
Jex sliced through their sibling rivalry with a question toward Luxor. “Hey, Luxor, what year did Jefferson come to St James Palace?”
“1786.” He announced, in the tone of relief as he escaped from Roxy’s own sharp tongue.
Jex coiled his fingers around the middle of the cone-like spike and pushed it forth, cautious enough to not press the spike button with his finger on the razor sharp tip. The spike sluggishly sunk into its hole and locked into place, Jex practically jumped at this unusual marvel. He carefully pulled his hand back out and wrapped his fingers around the seventh spike in the interior of the Iron Maiden. The spike was steadily pressed into its perfectly round hole; it stayed inside for a moment and sprung swiftly back out like a quick mouse from its home, Jex almost fell over from the shock of the spike’s return, Roxy would’ve cracked up laughing if she wasn’t confused. What happened to the spike?
“What the hell happened?” Jex whinged, he kicked the Iron Maiden’s metallic edge and hopped around his brother and sister, clutching onto his foot.
Luxor kept his chuckles suppressed as he explained. “Jex, Jefferson couldn’t have brought an Iron Maiden safe with his own code in a place which isn’t his own. This is likely property of the palace placed here by the member long ago, Jefferson might’ve found it, discovered the code, and hid his clue inside in his time inside the palace. Like when he hid the previous clue in Shakespeare’s grave, not somewhere that’s his own. So the code could be something related to the palace, like the year it was built, somewhere between 1531 and 1536.”
“Thanks.” Jex cheerfully chirped. With the first spike already in place, he tried to press the fifth spike down into its hole; fortunately it locked in its space flawlessly. The third spike reacted in the same way by Jex’s fingers. As the first, fifth, and third spike had been previously locked in, Jex attempted to push each spike forward, from the leftover first digit even numbers.
“Jex!” Luxor grunted with irritation. “It was just an example! There’s no way of telling if the code is a four digit number! There could be thousands of combinations! Millions! There is an incredibly slim chance the code is one of the assumed years of the palace’s orig---”
Jex pushed the fourth spike inwards and it locked into its burrow of iron, along with a rowdier clack from behind the body’s spikes. Luxor dangled from the sight; he shook out the shock from his system and tried to act unimpressed in front of Jex’s boastful smile. “You were lucky.”
“From what I remember, you don’t believe in luck.”
“I’m willing to believe in luck now.”
Before either Jex or Roxy could retort, one of the spikes near the edge of the Iron Maiden’s inner body lengthened further out of its hole, occupied with the noise of a sword’s blade rapidly glided out of a knight’s scabbard as the spike grazed against the metallic edge of its hole, now longer than the rest of its kin of iron. Roxy figured out the real identity of the peculiarly extended spike: a secret doorknob for a secret vault. It had been hours since Roxy and her brothers found a clue; she couldn’t wait for anymore hours to gain a new clue, even if she hated finding clues. The more clues she could find, the closer she could gain to the magick artefact, and find her father. In every hour, minute, and second wasted on nothing, her father’s chance of surviving around Alliance agents dimmed closer to the darkness of death. She couldn’t wait any longer, her dad’s life depended on their progress, even though he had no idea they disobeyed his letter to find him. Against the clock, Roxy wrapped her hand around the long spike, resentfully cold to her touch as if it was the neck of a heartless corpse. She shoved the spike forward to push the body’s surface inside the Iron Maiden, like most normal doors, but with extra caution as she could accidentally trip forth into the metal spikes. That would be an awful mess.
The door of iron thorns was set aside and unveiled passage of shadows inside the Iron Maiden, and likely hollowed through crimson wall behind the casket itself. Roxy stepped onward and brought to light of her feet’s destination; they were on the first step of a spiral staircase inside, sculpted entirely out of some kind of deep blue and smooth rock. She proceeded down the curled tower of wide steps without any rails; her brothers weren’t too far behind either. From up to down, the view of the arcane chamber was astonishingly beautiful and yet disturbingly morbid, around the edge of the floor was a circular gutter filled with dusky gun powder, lit wholly with flickering silver flames only a foot tall. Behind the blazing gutter were five arched columns constructed out of the same marble-like blue stone of the staircase, they surrounded rounded section and steps of dark complicatedly etched grey rock with an identical and quadrangular bed, as if they were blue fingers of massive monster reaching out for dazzling moon. Roxy didn’t know why, but inside the shadowy chamber, every colour seemed to be much more vibrant. The dry blood splats on the bed and the circle appeared to anyone’s eyes as a vivid red, the bed’s four chained shackles looked more vivid with their silveriness and coarse brownness of the rust from age. Even in the alluring gloom of the chamber, Roxy could still see the ornate metallic design of silver and bronze in the centre of the bed, entangled with steel vines in all sorts of patterns. The vast and never-ending domed ceiling of hexagon panels was filled with millions of microscopic white sparks and painted with the same sort of stunning sapphire blue Van Gogh used for his painting, The Starry Night, giving the illusion of a clear starry night sky inside one chamber of curved rocky walls.
Once at the bottom of the steps, Roxy looked up at the eternal sky and allowed herself to gasp. She repeated the last bit of the riddle as she finally understood what it meant. “She may have a severe façade on the outside, albeit her inside soul is as deep as the nocturnal heavens of the afterlife itself.”
“What is this place?” Jex asked gazed up at the ‘sky’, whirling his head around.
Luxor wandered further into the room and examined the metallic design on the bed of torment. “I guess some of the palace’s previous residences performed rituals involving sacrifices of blood as offerings to some sort of Dark God. Unwilling sacrifices of people by the looks of these shackles.”
“Dead people as offerings? That can’t be good for this god’s digestive system, and it’s an awful cliché. If he or she wants some sort of offering, how about something smaller like grass?”
“Why would an almighty god of darkness and destruction want to have grass as an offering and not a murdered young woman?”
“I don’t know…umm…good protein?”
“Protein for an eternal god? What would be the point?”
“Stop picking. I like to see you come with a better sacrifice for a god other than murdered abductees.”
Luxor tried and hesitated throughout his train of thought, the awkward silence was jam-packed with his ‘err’s and ‘umm’s. His brain strained to think of anything.
“See. Hard, isn’t it?”
“Would you like a nice nap on this rock bed? Maybe even strap yourself into the shackles for comfort?”
Dry sarcasm overwhelmed Roxy’s tongue. “It amazes me of how much you love me.”
“Shut up.”
“You’re right, sibling love doesn’t need words.”
“Just stop the sarcasm and help me find the clue.”
Roxy stuffed her hands into her skinny jeans’ front pockets; she and her brothers separated from each other and spread out through the massive chamber. Not only was the hidden clue intensely difficult to find in such immeasurable room, but each Zodiac was distracted by either the illogical silver fire, the blood splattered floor within the five pillars, the complicated design on the bed, or mainly the boundless fake yet realistic sky. The entire place looked like something out of a Tim Burton film. Roxy was bored after merely minutes of searching for the clue, she began to think this clue didn’t exist and it was indeed a prank made by Jefferson or someone in this century. Her hope of finding the clue, the artefact, and her dad was clogged with fogs of bleakness and boredom, the thick fogs faded away as her eyes caught something in the ceiling. All the stars were gleaming white, except for one little glint of gold.
“Jex! Luxor! Look up!” She cried. She couldn’t contain her excitement.
Luxor continued to search; he had doubt of Roxy’s discovery. “Nope, it’s not going to work, Roxy. If I look up, you’ll sneak to my shoes and tie the shoelaces altogether so I’ll trip when I walk. I may have worked when I was six, but it’s not going to work. I’m mature, I’m focused, and most importantly I’m a genius.”
Jex was the only brother who looked up. “Hey, Mr Mature-and-focused- genius. Stop being an immature and side-tracked idiot, and look up. Roxy found a clue.”
Luxor sighed reluctantly and strolled away from his searching spot. He grumbled and curved on the way, and stopped to stare up at the ‘sky’. “Oh, that was lucky.”
“So whenever Roxy and I find a clue, it’s just dumb luck. But when you find a clue, it’s all about intelligence and skill?”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself. Well, maybe I could.” Luxor shrugged and then pointed to the golden speck above. “But there is one teensy problem. It’s far too high, not even Jex can use his abnormality to jump that far up. And the mineral it’s made of is way too slippery for him to walk on.”
“Those are our only options, what else can we do?”
Roxy peered down at the baroque motif of intertwined metal upon the bed’s solid surface. Something about it seemed relevant to their situation; it could be more than a simple decoration for cold-hearted martyrdom, there must be more than meets the eye of the metal. Within the entanglement of silver and bronze vines were nine coloured balls, each one had their own vine, and the biggest and brightest ball was in dead centre of the mess. It was the sun, and the other balls of different sizes were the planets. Roxy could tell by the curves of the ‘planets’ that they were moveable, something about the eight moveable planets made Roxy think the entire design was a mechanism to unlock something else, in order to reach for the stars. She wondered what would happen if she were to align the planets through their metallic and visible orbits. She grasped each planet by the tips of her fingers and slid them into one single line of shockingly colourful spheres; she heard the clicks of each one as they locked into place. The vines unravelled out of the metallic circle on the smooth surface of the dark grey stone slab bed, some of the leafless metal vines spiralled and stretched out as broadly elongated and reedy plant-like fingers reaching for the sky. The fingers held the rest of the vines, the remaining vines stretched and coiled up as visible obit halos with a planet on each one. They would be stacked on top of each other if they weren’t leaning down slantwise, appearing to the eyes below as a giant staircase of rings, above one another’s hearts of void. The sun was in the middle of the last ring, the smallest orbit, and the top step: all in one. The solar system’s star was up in the sky where it was supposed to be upon, close to the Zodiacs’ latest desire.
Luxor was a second away from speaking a few words, Roxy managed to cut him off. “If you say it was dumb luck one more time, I’ll strap you in the bed myself.”
Luxor sniggered and blew his hair off his face. “I was going to say well done.”
“Thanks.”
“And that it was dumb luck.”
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 9:12 am on May 6, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Part four of the three chapter sneak peek.
Jex escaped the bickering before it could even continue. He lifted up one of his feet and placed it onto the largest visible orbit of metal and the first step of the rounded staircase, balanced by nothing except thin and possibly unstable vines, as if he was Jack climbing up the beanstalk. He took another and another, every orbit was a new step closer to the sun and the unknown golden star. Roxy couldn’t understand how he wasn’t afraid of ascending something so wobbly and lofty; each round step would worryingly lean to one side, close to allowing Jex to slide off. His abnormal feet resisted ordinary gravity and rebelled against the force, he was only a few steps away from the clue. Roxy wondered thoroughly how her older brother was calm and fearless upon the seesawing loops, maybe it was his mentality. He had always acted like a playful and cheerful little boy despite his true age; perhaps the ringed staircase was merely a fun playground to him. There was an excited spring in his feet as he happily scaled the mountain of bronze and silver hoops. Jex reached the top and balanced on the sun, no bigger than a normal gumball, and pulled the golden treasure out of the dark sky. He laughed with victory and excitement; it was easier to storm down the rickety staircase than to mount upwards. Roxy was granted a smidge of shock as Jex unexpectedly landed beside her.
“Ta-da!” Jex declared and held the latest clue in his fist. “Luxor, say thank you.”
Luxor plucked the clue from out of his brother’s fist to examine it. “Thank you, Jex, for not crashing down on top of me.”
“But I---” He stammered, almost offended.
Roxy sighed and patted him on the shoulder supportively. “Don’t worry, Jex. That’s as close as we’re ever going to get.”
Luxor examined the clue in full view of Roxy and Jex. In Luxor’s bony hand was a golden metal tube only a few centimetres longer than a golf pencil, but with the right width of one. The stick had minuscule bump near the top, and microscopic words were engraved in the metal as spirals, beautifully carved as if all along they were written by a swan’s feathered quill. Something about the metallic stick seemed oddly familiar to her; she couldn’t quite put her finger on the vague memory bugging her.
(Author's note: on the actual document, there was a picture of the clue right here. But as you know we're not allowed pictures here)
Luxor read the cryptic message aloud. “The ringer of bells, the guardian angel of stone leviathans, the eye-sore of the city. The kind-hearted monstrosity lives within the château of bright beauty, dedicated worship, and dusk hideousness: a fortress of heavenly light and deathly darkness. His cloaked companion, the eldest Necromancer embraces Pandora’s Box of the almighty key between the living and the dead. Every box needs a key, perhaps a second.”
“Once again, it makes no sense whatsoever.” Roxy grumbled.
“Yes it does, we just need to get out of here. Then I can try to work it out.”
“And it won’t be with dumb luck?”
“Exactly.”
“Just simply with your arrogance about your so-called intellect?”
“Exac---” Before he could finish off his answer, he realised Roxy was simply trying to twist his words again. “I’m so going to get you for that.”
“It was worth it.” Roxy snickered and strolled up the spiral staircase of stone, Jex and Luxor followed her towards the entryway with the Iron Maiden as its door.
Roxy and her brothers surfaced through the darkness and emerged out of the Iron Maiden door without any spikes in their flesh. Roxy knew their latest clue was their last, she just knew it would lead her family to the artefact; she had a feeling in her gut it was close by. Roxy wasn’t sure if she should trust her instincts as she suspected much earlier that the corridor would be empty, she stepped forward into the same corridor, along with Luxor and Jex, and stumbled upon a witness. Roxy was face to face with a wrinkly male septuagenarian. His greyish white hair was thinning over his dry scalp, he was nearly the same height as Luxor, his nose reminded Roxy of a hawk’s beak, and it was clear his name was Earl as of the fabric name tag sewed into his steel-blue jumpsuit. That was it, the end of the line. They went without hours of arrestment as of their ‘most wanted’ status with the FBI, and now their hunt for the artefact was all going to be over if Earl the janitor were to call the police.
Chapter 51: All Hell Broke Loose
“Hey!” Earl shouted even though he was already too close to the Zodiacs. Then again, he was adjusting his hearing aid. “What were you delicious youngsters doing in there?”
Roxy did her best she could to lie. “I’m sorry; we were just…err…hang on.” Something wasn’t right about Earl; she remembered what he had recently said and knew Earl wasn’t at all what he appeared. “Did you just say we were ‘delicious’?”
“Indeed.” Earl creepily licked his crusty lips. “And you, little missy, are the appetiser.”
Earl was much faster than any man his own age, especially faster than what Roxy had expected. The janitor stampeded forward, launched himself off his feet like a pouncing beast, and hurtled towards Roxy. She didn’t have enough time to react as Earl seized hold of her neck and slammed her into a wall; he was certainly stronger than any other septuagenarian. Roxy lost count of how many times she had been shoved onto a wall by her throat throughout the weirdest and scariest week she ever had. Earl’s gaunt fingers tightened around Roxy’s throat, and restrained her from breathing in any air her lungs craved for. Roxy coughed numerous times and resisted the urge to beg for mercy, she could escape on her own. Where were Jex and Luxor? She couldn’t see them anywhere. Were they in more trouble than her? She hoped not. Earl grinned and snarled at the same time, his hungry mouth dripped with frothy drool. The colour of maroon red in the form of smog surged from the back of his head and clustered into a solid colour behind his corneas, the colour entirely gushed throughout the whiteness, the irises, and the pupils. The pupils, the whites, and the irises of his eyes were no longer seen in the solid maroon redness. Without any change in his crazily gleeful expression upon his crinkly face, tears of blood slowly flowed down his cheeks.
“Come on, sweetie. Don’t be shy, hop into my mouth.” Earl giggled insanely.
His voice was alarmingly different from the croaky British accent Roxy had heard before; it was now more like…voices. She heard over thousand voices, unbearably too shrilled and outlandish to hear, like no one in this reality was supposed to hear them. All kinds of accents of all ages and both genders were heard within Earl’s mouth, as if all the souls Earl ate were trapped in his voice box. They all spoke in unison, in a sinisterly whiny and crazily playful manner, like one demented and homicidal child from an asylum. Roxy recalled Will’s warning about the mischievous and man-eating Demons, the minor Dark Gods from the neighbouring dimension of Hell. He had told Roxy, Jex, and Luxor of average Demons’ capabilities, including humans being Demons little marionettes. Earl the janitor was possessed by a Demon in its spirit form. Roxy was grateful Earl wasn’t a corpse possessed by one of the major Dark Gods, the Archdemons, or that she wasn’t head to head with Earl’s Demon in its true form of flesh. Or both. She would be dead if she faced either of them.
Roxy showed no signs of fear to the Demon-possessed Earl, regardless of how much terror she truly felt. “Sorry, doll face. But I’m no one’s Demon chow.”
She flung her leg upwards and kicked his groin once, she would never hurt an old man, but there was an exception for old men possessed by Demons ready to devour her in quick and messy bites. Earl retracted his hands and narrowed back in agony; he yelped and whimpered like a puppy with a broken leg. Roxy’s mind was almost clogged with guilt and the drive to help him up, she banished it away. It wasn’t Earl; it wasn’t a sore old janitor. It was an almighty abomination behind a mask, it was a famished Dark God torturing another soul to do terrible things as if Earl was a mere disguise to be discarded once used.
“Ouch!” The Demon possessing Earl barked, and suddenly he started laughing madly. “That hurt! Why would you do that?”
He was about to continue, until he pulled apart his jumpsuit and shirt, and exposed his stomach. Clumpy hands reached out through the stomach and stretched his torso’s skin as if they rammed through the rubber of a balloon. The hands outspread further through the skin, till their monstrous owner erupted out the stomach in a chaos of sprayed blood and flying strips of guts. The janitor’s body dropped dead with his eyelids widely open, a pool of blood overflowed beneath Earl’s limp corpse and the giant torn hole of emptiness in his abdomen showed exactly how ferocious and painful his death had been. Earl the janitor was no more.
The Demon stood beside the corpse without a second look and continued what he had to say with his army of voices. “That wasn’t very nice, you are a big meanie.”
The minor Dark God’s true form of flesh was too unendurable to see, yet Roxy couldn’t stop gazing at it. He was completely different to the stereotypical hooved and muscular Demon she had imagined, he was far more hideous. The Demon was over three heads taller than a tall man, yet he was more skeletal than buff, like the Grim Reaper. His long stomach was sunken inwards and starved for human flesh. His collar bones and ribs were shown through his dry bleak red surface. His leathery skin was what human skin would be like if it weren’t typically oily or hydrated. Roxy sniffed from the distance and assumed his skin smelt like burnt sulphur His bony limbs were upsettingly extensive, an extra forearm and hand had grown from the end of each elbow. All of his four long and lumpy hands had needle-sharp and curved talons capable of ripping a whale apart in seconds. His feet with jagged toes and his bony yet long hind legs could easily pounce and run after Roxy without him stopping. His long tail swished menacingly from side to side, at the end of his bumpy spine. Each chunk of his spine was shown up through his back and to his neck. Roxy was nervous around the talon of bone at the tail’s tip. Grown out of his back was a pair of big red bat wings, the skin webbed between the wings’ elongated finger bones seemed much more fragile than the skin of a normal pair of bat wings.
The Demon’s face upon his bald head made Roxy yearn to burst into tears, bowed horns stuck out of his forehead like a hellish beast. His short and thin jaw, his sunken cheeks, and his large zygomatic bones reminded Roxy of a rotten skull with its jaw fallen off. The additional dry skins of his pale lips’ edges were sucked inside and gave the illusion of a parched and square shaped mouth, amongst his rotten, crooked, and jagged teeth. She could barely see the minor Dark God’s ears or eyebrows, and didn’t see his nose at all. The decomposing speck of uneven red and black appeared as if his nose had either been burned off or rotted off. Nor did she see his eyes as of his swollen eyelids with severe puffiness, as if they were either crammed with pus, or been scratched far too much. On second thought, Roxy yearned to vomit and cry at the same time from the sight of the inferno dweller’s hideous and disturbing face.
Again, Roxy tried to show to the Demon of what she felt. “Wouldn’t have been easier to turn into your spirit form and climb out of the janitor, instead of bursting out of him in your true form, killing him?”
“Where would be the fun in escaping that yucky old man if I don’t get to kill him?” The Demon eerily said and giggled. “Now will you pretty please let me eat you?”
“Nope, but that was a very civilised way of asking me to be eaten. Most man-eating monsters would just go for and don’t even consider how the victim would feel throughout the chomping and the screams. Thanks anyway.” Roxy cautiously moved away from the wall.
The Demon cackled and he carried himself on all powerful fours towards Roxy in a swift blur. He launched off the floor in a pounce before Roxy could react to his rapid movements, a hand of both main arms squeezed her throat without changing his mind, whereas the remaining duo of hands grasped each side of Roxy’s face. To have no air brought into her lungs wasn’t nearly as bad as the stinging pain onto her skin from all four hands; his touch burned the flesh of her neck and face, as if his hands had been moulded out of scorching lava. She knew they literally burned, warm steam drifted from his quartet of fire-like hands within her screeches of agony.
The Demon didn’t seem to care as he lifted Roxy off her feet. “Stop your screaming. You’ll wear out your larynx. It’s the best part to eat, nice and chewy.”
“You’re not going to eat me.” Roxy sternly told him through teeth pressed together.
“Really? I think I might.”
“I’m not saying you wouldn’t. I’m saying you can’t, my brothers are still around and so am I. There are three of us and only one of you.”
“You are silly sausage, one which will be perfect for a warm hotdog bun. Numbers don’t matter to my kind compared to yours, but they do help.”
Jex escaped the bickering before it could even continue. He lifted up one of his feet and placed it onto the largest visible orbit of metal and the first step of the rounded staircase, balanced by nothing except thin and possibly unstable vines, as if he was Jack climbing up the beanstalk. He took another and another, every orbit was a new step closer to the sun and the unknown golden star. Roxy couldn’t understand how he wasn’t afraid of ascending something so wobbly and lofty; each round step would worryingly lean to one side, close to allowing Jex to slide off. His abnormal feet resisted ordinary gravity and rebelled against the force, he was only a few steps away from the clue. Roxy wondered thoroughly how her older brother was calm and fearless upon the seesawing loops, maybe it was his mentality. He had always acted like a playful and cheerful little boy despite his true age; perhaps the ringed staircase was merely a fun playground to him. There was an excited spring in his feet as he happily scaled the mountain of bronze and silver hoops. Jex reached the top and balanced on the sun, no bigger than a normal gumball, and pulled the golden treasure out of the dark sky. He laughed with victory and excitement; it was easier to storm down the rickety staircase than to mount upwards. Roxy was granted a smidge of shock as Jex unexpectedly landed beside her.
“Ta-da!” Jex declared and held the latest clue in his fist. “Luxor, say thank you.”
Luxor plucked the clue from out of his brother’s fist to examine it. “Thank you, Jex, for not crashing down on top of me.”
“But I---” He stammered, almost offended.
Roxy sighed and patted him on the shoulder supportively. “Don’t worry, Jex. That’s as close as we’re ever going to get.”
Luxor examined the clue in full view of Roxy and Jex. In Luxor’s bony hand was a golden metal tube only a few centimetres longer than a golf pencil, but with the right width of one. The stick had minuscule bump near the top, and microscopic words were engraved in the metal as spirals, beautifully carved as if all along they were written by a swan’s feathered quill. Something about the metallic stick seemed oddly familiar to her; she couldn’t quite put her finger on the vague memory bugging her.
(Author's note: on the actual document, there was a picture of the clue right here. But as you know we're not allowed pictures here)
Luxor read the cryptic message aloud. “The ringer of bells, the guardian angel of stone leviathans, the eye-sore of the city. The kind-hearted monstrosity lives within the château of bright beauty, dedicated worship, and dusk hideousness: a fortress of heavenly light and deathly darkness. His cloaked companion, the eldest Necromancer embraces Pandora’s Box of the almighty key between the living and the dead. Every box needs a key, perhaps a second.”
“Once again, it makes no sense whatsoever.” Roxy grumbled.
“Yes it does, we just need to get out of here. Then I can try to work it out.”
“And it won’t be with dumb luck?”
“Exactly.”
“Just simply with your arrogance about your so-called intellect?”
“Exac---” Before he could finish off his answer, he realised Roxy was simply trying to twist his words again. “I’m so going to get you for that.”
“It was worth it.” Roxy snickered and strolled up the spiral staircase of stone, Jex and Luxor followed her towards the entryway with the Iron Maiden as its door.
Roxy and her brothers surfaced through the darkness and emerged out of the Iron Maiden door without any spikes in their flesh. Roxy knew their latest clue was their last, she just knew it would lead her family to the artefact; she had a feeling in her gut it was close by. Roxy wasn’t sure if she should trust her instincts as she suspected much earlier that the corridor would be empty, she stepped forward into the same corridor, along with Luxor and Jex, and stumbled upon a witness. Roxy was face to face with a wrinkly male septuagenarian. His greyish white hair was thinning over his dry scalp, he was nearly the same height as Luxor, his nose reminded Roxy of a hawk’s beak, and it was clear his name was Earl as of the fabric name tag sewed into his steel-blue jumpsuit. That was it, the end of the line. They went without hours of arrestment as of their ‘most wanted’ status with the FBI, and now their hunt for the artefact was all going to be over if Earl the janitor were to call the police.
Chapter 51: All Hell Broke Loose
“Hey!” Earl shouted even though he was already too close to the Zodiacs. Then again, he was adjusting his hearing aid. “What were you delicious youngsters doing in there?”
Roxy did her best she could to lie. “I’m sorry; we were just…err…hang on.” Something wasn’t right about Earl; she remembered what he had recently said and knew Earl wasn’t at all what he appeared. “Did you just say we were ‘delicious’?”
“Indeed.” Earl creepily licked his crusty lips. “And you, little missy, are the appetiser.”
Earl was much faster than any man his own age, especially faster than what Roxy had expected. The janitor stampeded forward, launched himself off his feet like a pouncing beast, and hurtled towards Roxy. She didn’t have enough time to react as Earl seized hold of her neck and slammed her into a wall; he was certainly stronger than any other septuagenarian. Roxy lost count of how many times she had been shoved onto a wall by her throat throughout the weirdest and scariest week she ever had. Earl’s gaunt fingers tightened around Roxy’s throat, and restrained her from breathing in any air her lungs craved for. Roxy coughed numerous times and resisted the urge to beg for mercy, she could escape on her own. Where were Jex and Luxor? She couldn’t see them anywhere. Were they in more trouble than her? She hoped not. Earl grinned and snarled at the same time, his hungry mouth dripped with frothy drool. The colour of maroon red in the form of smog surged from the back of his head and clustered into a solid colour behind his corneas, the colour entirely gushed throughout the whiteness, the irises, and the pupils. The pupils, the whites, and the irises of his eyes were no longer seen in the solid maroon redness. Without any change in his crazily gleeful expression upon his crinkly face, tears of blood slowly flowed down his cheeks.
“Come on, sweetie. Don’t be shy, hop into my mouth.” Earl giggled insanely.
His voice was alarmingly different from the croaky British accent Roxy had heard before; it was now more like…voices. She heard over thousand voices, unbearably too shrilled and outlandish to hear, like no one in this reality was supposed to hear them. All kinds of accents of all ages and both genders were heard within Earl’s mouth, as if all the souls Earl ate were trapped in his voice box. They all spoke in unison, in a sinisterly whiny and crazily playful manner, like one demented and homicidal child from an asylum. Roxy recalled Will’s warning about the mischievous and man-eating Demons, the minor Dark Gods from the neighbouring dimension of Hell. He had told Roxy, Jex, and Luxor of average Demons’ capabilities, including humans being Demons little marionettes. Earl the janitor was possessed by a Demon in its spirit form. Roxy was grateful Earl wasn’t a corpse possessed by one of the major Dark Gods, the Archdemons, or that she wasn’t head to head with Earl’s Demon in its true form of flesh. Or both. She would be dead if she faced either of them.
Roxy showed no signs of fear to the Demon-possessed Earl, regardless of how much terror she truly felt. “Sorry, doll face. But I’m no one’s Demon chow.”
She flung her leg upwards and kicked his groin once, she would never hurt an old man, but there was an exception for old men possessed by Demons ready to devour her in quick and messy bites. Earl retracted his hands and narrowed back in agony; he yelped and whimpered like a puppy with a broken leg. Roxy’s mind was almost clogged with guilt and the drive to help him up, she banished it away. It wasn’t Earl; it wasn’t a sore old janitor. It was an almighty abomination behind a mask, it was a famished Dark God torturing another soul to do terrible things as if Earl was a mere disguise to be discarded once used.
“Ouch!” The Demon possessing Earl barked, and suddenly he started laughing madly. “That hurt! Why would you do that?”
He was about to continue, until he pulled apart his jumpsuit and shirt, and exposed his stomach. Clumpy hands reached out through the stomach and stretched his torso’s skin as if they rammed through the rubber of a balloon. The hands outspread further through the skin, till their monstrous owner erupted out the stomach in a chaos of sprayed blood and flying strips of guts. The janitor’s body dropped dead with his eyelids widely open, a pool of blood overflowed beneath Earl’s limp corpse and the giant torn hole of emptiness in his abdomen showed exactly how ferocious and painful his death had been. Earl the janitor was no more.
The Demon stood beside the corpse without a second look and continued what he had to say with his army of voices. “That wasn’t very nice, you are a big meanie.”
The minor Dark God’s true form of flesh was too unendurable to see, yet Roxy couldn’t stop gazing at it. He was completely different to the stereotypical hooved and muscular Demon she had imagined, he was far more hideous. The Demon was over three heads taller than a tall man, yet he was more skeletal than buff, like the Grim Reaper. His long stomach was sunken inwards and starved for human flesh. His collar bones and ribs were shown through his dry bleak red surface. His leathery skin was what human skin would be like if it weren’t typically oily or hydrated. Roxy sniffed from the distance and assumed his skin smelt like burnt sulphur His bony limbs were upsettingly extensive, an extra forearm and hand had grown from the end of each elbow. All of his four long and lumpy hands had needle-sharp and curved talons capable of ripping a whale apart in seconds. His feet with jagged toes and his bony yet long hind legs could easily pounce and run after Roxy without him stopping. His long tail swished menacingly from side to side, at the end of his bumpy spine. Each chunk of his spine was shown up through his back and to his neck. Roxy was nervous around the talon of bone at the tail’s tip. Grown out of his back was a pair of big red bat wings, the skin webbed between the wings’ elongated finger bones seemed much more fragile than the skin of a normal pair of bat wings.
The Demon’s face upon his bald head made Roxy yearn to burst into tears, bowed horns stuck out of his forehead like a hellish beast. His short and thin jaw, his sunken cheeks, and his large zygomatic bones reminded Roxy of a rotten skull with its jaw fallen off. The additional dry skins of his pale lips’ edges were sucked inside and gave the illusion of a parched and square shaped mouth, amongst his rotten, crooked, and jagged teeth. She could barely see the minor Dark God’s ears or eyebrows, and didn’t see his nose at all. The decomposing speck of uneven red and black appeared as if his nose had either been burned off or rotted off. Nor did she see his eyes as of his swollen eyelids with severe puffiness, as if they were either crammed with pus, or been scratched far too much. On second thought, Roxy yearned to vomit and cry at the same time from the sight of the inferno dweller’s hideous and disturbing face.
Again, Roxy tried to show to the Demon of what she felt. “Wouldn’t have been easier to turn into your spirit form and climb out of the janitor, instead of bursting out of him in your true form, killing him?”
“Where would be the fun in escaping that yucky old man if I don’t get to kill him?” The Demon eerily said and giggled. “Now will you pretty please let me eat you?”
“Nope, but that was a very civilised way of asking me to be eaten. Most man-eating monsters would just go for and don’t even consider how the victim would feel throughout the chomping and the screams. Thanks anyway.” Roxy cautiously moved away from the wall.
The Demon cackled and he carried himself on all powerful fours towards Roxy in a swift blur. He launched off the floor in a pounce before Roxy could react to his rapid movements, a hand of both main arms squeezed her throat without changing his mind, whereas the remaining duo of hands grasped each side of Roxy’s face. To have no air brought into her lungs wasn’t nearly as bad as the stinging pain onto her skin from all four hands; his touch burned the flesh of her neck and face, as if his hands had been moulded out of scorching lava. She knew they literally burned, warm steam drifted from his quartet of fire-like hands within her screeches of agony.
The Demon didn’t seem to care as he lifted Roxy off her feet. “Stop your screaming. You’ll wear out your larynx. It’s the best part to eat, nice and chewy.”
“You’re not going to eat me.” Roxy sternly told him through teeth pressed together.
“Really? I think I might.”
“I’m not saying you wouldn’t. I’m saying you can’t, my brothers are still around and so am I. There are three of us and only one of you.”
“You are silly sausage, one which will be perfect for a warm hotdog bun. Numbers don’t matter to my kind compared to yours, but they do help.”
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 9:29 am on May 6, 2012
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3 people like this post.
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Final part of the three chapter sneak peek
Roxy’s ears began to pick up excruciatingly shrill whispers and giggles similar to the Demon’s own mob of various voices, all from behind her. Perhaps she shouldn’t have bragged about numbers, the Demon was already the winner. She strained to turn her head around, nevertheless achieved her goal. She spotted her pair of troubled brothers stuck on the red ceiling; they cringed in pain from an unseen cause. The Demon didn’t make sense. Roxy’s eyelids narrowed and focused on the ceiling more, she finally saw what had happened to her brothers. Eleven of the Demon’s identical brethren blended in on the walls and the ceiling because of their colour, the portion of mischievous and vicious Demons on the ceiling nibbled on the flesh of Luxor and Jex. Twelve Demons altogether in one isolated place. The Zodiacs were as good as dead.
“Oh.” Roxy murmured.
The Demon nodded. “Yep, you’re outnumbered and we’re not. Nah-nah ne nah-nah!”
“Numbers don’t matter, I can still do this.” Roxy grinned haughtily and kneed the Demon’s torso to loosen his grip.
Roxy rubbed her fingers against her face and neck, the hand-shaped burn blisters upon those areas of her skin didn’t heal as quickly as her previous wounds did. Her abnormality couldn’t heal anything from the touch of a Demon! She found her chance unleashed a large kick in the same spot a second later, propelling him backwards and onto the floor. Within his trip, Roxy landed back on the floor and inside her mind was a sliver of hope which thought the other Demons wouldn’t bother her or help their leader. However her logical side overpowered her hopefulness as she heard the flapping noises of their wings and two thuds from Jex and Luxor as they crashed down to the corridor’s floor. The Demons were coming. Perhaps she shouldn’t have stood up, her legs straightened to stand and a stroke of agony pulsed from her back to her chest. She heard the cackle of a Demon behind her and looked down; a Demon’s tail talon had plunged through her spine, her heart, and to the surface of her chest. It remained there like a fishing hook through a worm; she was bait for most of the hungry Demons. Some of the other Demons were up against Luxor and Jex. A mysterious fleck bugged her mind. Why would the Demons come after Roxy and her brothers for dinner, after their escape from an Abyss, if there was a perfectly good dead man to eat nearby like the damned scavengers they were? It couldn’t be for the thrill of the hunt; this seemed too organised to be a simple hunt from Demons. And then it hit her during her struggle to keep alive, someone sent Demons after Roxy and her family to get rid of the interfering kids once and for all. Someone from The Alliance, no doubt.
The Demon who had used his tail as a harpoon giggled puckishly to her. “Normally I wouldn’t play with my food, but I’ll make an exception for you.”
How flattering,” Roxy muttered. “Let’s see how you like it.”
One of her arms reached for the second Demon’s tail behind her and pulled it out of her chest, through the insides of her torso, and out of her back. In one second, she swung the tail around like the chain of a flail, and flung the Demon out of her hand and across the room. Roxy looked down at her hole as rapidly healed inside and out, with fresh new flesh and guts in its place. First Catherine’s dagger, and now a Demon’s tail talon? People just didn’t like Roxy.
“I have a few tricks of my own.” She quipped slyly and zipped up her leather jacket.
She was sure the Demon would crash into the very Demon she had first encountered merely minutes ago, their pack’s leader. The leader had already been sprinting on all fours towards her, he leapt over his plummeting colleague, landed onto his feet and hands, and continued to run for his dinner.
The Demon hissed merrily. “Oooo, yippee! My very own never-ending buffet!”
Roxy had to think fast this time. She snatched a single handed sword from a knight’s suit of armour as it rested against a wall, she swung its double edged blade at the Demon multiple times without a pause in her movements, this thing needed to vanish. He wasn’t supposed to be in this world, he didn’t belong as he could destroy it. Roxy couldn’t understand why the Demon wasn’t frazzled from the tip of the metal strip. The Demon realised his prey was right in front of him and skidded to a stop. He towered over her as he stood up, covered in open slits from the sword’s strikes, counting the largest one was gashed across his stomach. He stood there, and grinned, unbothered his injuries. The edges of the slits lapsed in slightly, and crooked and pointy teeth grew out of the slits, blood trickled from the new mouths as thick scarlet drool.
"Didn’t anyone ever told you nothing could harm a god?” All the mouths, both the old one and the new ones, spoke and laughed simultaneously. With each step he took forward, Roxy took one backwards.
Her sword was no use, her fingers slackened to let the sword drop. She wasn’t going let a Demon kill her, especially not right when she was so close to finding the artefact. Roxy sprung up into the air and started to swing her leg around for the Demon leader’s head. Unfortunately her foot didn’t make it, the third Demon flew up to her, clutched onto her leg halfway through, and hurled her down the corridor. Roxy hurtled through the air above the corridor’s floor and collided with the dead-end back first. Before she knew it, another Demon raced for her by his swift wings. To eat her alive.
“I hate Demons.” She mumbled and stroke her back.
The fourth Demon giggled viciously. “Get in line.”
This time, Roxy was ready. She dashed forth to the racing Demon without a single doubt in her mind to tell her to stop. Once they met, Roxy give a free rein to several quick boxing jabs into the Demon as he was in mid-air. She certainly knew from minutes’ worth of experience that no ordinary punch could harm even a minor Dark God, but her punches supported her as a distraction. She shoved him to go a little bit backwards with each punch, and directed him over to the Iron Maiden. With one last punch, his back fell into the right door’s spikes, they surfaced through every part of his body with trails of blood left behind. Tails of warm steam wafted from the flesh around each spike, the iron burned the Demon’s skin intensely just as Roxy expect. What she didn’t expect was the fourth Demon’s return; he pulled himself off the spikes without any groans of pain or cringes of agony, his new holes throughout his entire body formed into bloody mouths with recently sprouted choppers. The Demon noticed Roxy was too deeply exhausted to react instantly and his divine talons raked her face at a speed rate faster than Roxy’s own supreme reflexes, the force pushed her down to the ground as easily as a punch. Demons were impossible to defeat even by her. They were too fast, too strong, too much. The leader of the pack loomed over Roxy’s limp body on the floor, and licked her face by the tongue of his main mouth, his saliva dripped onto her cheeks and burned like acid. His long forked tongue was like a stinging hot flexible piece of metal stroking her skin.
“Mmm, yummy. A sweet and spicy soul, just like he said.” The first Demon chirped after one simple satisfied taste.
Roxy’s eyebrows knitted, whoever told the Demons about her taste had sent them. “Who said that
She didn’t get an answer. The Demon’s excess skin sucked into his squarish mouth flailed out, like the end of a medical rubber glove stretched out. His rotten teeth were close enough to pierce her skin. The four Demons she had faced begun to rip her apart by their talons, and their teeth of either main mouths or newly formed mouths. The pain was too agonising for her to escape, the missing patches of flesh and meat healed completely straight after the bites. Once formed back, the Demons would take more bites out of her all over again. This could go on forever, a lifetime of being a platter for endlessly starving immortal deities. It was just as bad as the torture of helplessly watching her brothers in danger, tormented by their own quartets of voracious and brutally playful Demons. If she were to be granted one wish before her death, she would wish her brothers would do better at surviving the unearthly abominations than her. She would wish for them to be safe.
Luxor tried his best to stay alive, luck wasn’t on his side. It wasn’t his best. From what Roxy saw, Luxor was being stretched by two Demons and their immense strength. She knew Luxor did want to be taller, but not like this! This kind of torture could be as excruciating as the Darques’ stretching rack, or much worse. One Demon pulled one end of Luxor by the young boy’s head; his talons impaled into Luxor’s scalp and allowed blood to dye the victim’s auburn brown hair into a deep blood red. The second Demon of Luxor’s foursome pierced his talons into Luxor’s sneakers and literally pulled his legs. Roxy heard Luxor’s spine crack numerous times, and his ear-splitting screeches all the time. His screams tormented and stabbed Roxy’s heart like a razor sharp knife. He had to escape, he just had to. Luxor flung his legs over his body and his feet carried the Demon with him, the Demon at his feet smashed down onto the Demon at his head and forced his talons out as Luxor landed on the pile of Dark Gods.
Luxor quickly stepped off the pile, he tried to run away from the Demons, but the second Demon flew up, shot his tail over to Luxor, and constricted it around the eleven year old’s body. The tail tightened over Luxor’s chest and obstructed his breathing to exhale weak wheezes; Roxy thought she heard Luxor’s ribcage snap voluminous times. Out of nowhere, the third Demon of the attacking group soared forward to the shock-still boy, prepared to gobble him up. Luxor’s arms fretfully wiggled out of the coiled tail and his shaking hands gripped onto the slack of the tail and swung the fluttering second Demon around into the other Demon in flight. Luxor knocked the third Demon out in mid-air and the second one remained, now on the other side.
The second Demon wrapped more of his tail throughout Luxor’s body like a Boa Constrictor, squeezed tauter, and forced Luxor to cough on his own air. The Demon was somehow amused by Luxor’s suffering. “If you wanted to play so badly, you could’ve just said so.”
“And spoil the surprise, why would I do that?” Luxor accomplished to speak in the midst of his coarse pants.
“You could hit me all you want---”
“Thanks.” Luxor chopped the Demon’s speech and gave a strong right hook across the Dark God’s face. The force of his fist drove the Demon to fall down backwards and to loosen his tail. Luxor evaded the Demon’s constricting tail, triggered his Video-Graphic Motion Memory to commence a back flip in mid-air which he had once saw on TV, and plummeted down to the floor.
“---but that doesn’t mean you can’t stop us.” The second Demon continued mockingly, during Luxor’s fall.
Luxor didn’t have time to land on both his hands and feet, the fourth Demon against him rocketed up, snatched one of Luxor’s legs, and dangled the body up in air with him. Luxor tried the kick in the fourth Demon’s face with his captured leg, but it ended up in the Demon’s mouth. The Demon gnawed on the boy’s foot, the rest of the demonic foursome gathered around the suspended feast and nibbled on the exposed flesh of their screaming dinner. Roxy’s wish wasn’t coming true.
Jex had as much trouble as Roxy and Luxor, but at least he had an effective weapon. Jex unzipped his new black back-pack and pulled out the WAND by one end, the first Demon of the ensemble against Jex dashed forth to him, with his disturbing mouth wide open to snarl and eat. In the blink of an eye, Jex slipped out a black potion from his back-pack and into the WAND’s slot, the components on top of the staff once again spun around in all directions and buzzed with electrifying black light from the bottle inside. He tried to veer the WAND at the first Demon’s head; nevertheless the Demon stepped back away from the staff just in time before its tip could whack his face. What the Demon didn’t realise was that Jex intentionally missed to drag the black energy at the monstrous face ahead of the tip, the luminous black energy froze all over the Demon’s head as some kind of black crystal. Satisfied with his work, Jex grinned smugly and closely at the Demon’s frozen head. Roxy noticed the facial features of the Demon still moved, she wanted to warn him of the upcoming attack, but she was too busy screaming to express words. The Demon’s cackles were muffled within the rocky prison, his frozen head stampeded forward into Jex’s torso, the chunk of crystal shattered into smithereens and the Demon threw Jex up close to the ceiling with his horns. Jex fell straight back down like a heavy stone after an accidental flip, he crashed down to earth on his back and strenuously stood up. He didn’t cringe in pain, he…smiled?
He must’ve heard his second Demon coming from behind since he sprinted for the Demon, planted the end of the WAND into the floor ahead of his running legs, and pole-vaulted with the staff, now above the ground. By the end of his arched journey in the air, one of his feet landed onto the second Demon’s face as a kick, forcing the Demon to stop running. Regrettably, it landed in the Demon’s mouth. All the other Demons erupted with laughter as they watched the second Demon swing Jex in many directions halfway inside his mouth, like Jex was merely a dog’s tug-o-war toy. Throughout the rapid action, Jex pressed his hands against the Demon’s face and pushed himself out. He flew out of the mouth and skidded across the floor on his stomach. As soon as Jex stood up again, the third Demon of his group grazed Jex’s chest with his talons, Jex didn’t dare to scream. The Demon tried to strike at him with his undeniably hasty talons, but Jex blocked his strikes every time with the WAND clashing against the Demon’s wrist. The third Demon attempted to sweep his tail at Jex’s legs to knock the teenager’s feet off the floor, he completely missed. Jex used one of his abnormalities to spring extremely high up into the air to avoid the tail, he steered himself over to wall nearby and his feet settled upon it. Jex sprinted down the wall without a single slippery mistake and leapt off it; he nosedived down to the Demon and struck the end of the WAND into the Dark God’s face. However it ended up in the Demon’s mouth.
“I really have to work on my aim.” Jex muttered and held onto the staff.
The Demon smirked crazily, swung the WAND to the side just once, and chucked Jex down the corridor. His back-pack flew off his back and crash landed down on the smooth floor right when he did. Jex couldn’t even stand up, the fourth Demon up against him pinned his limp body onto the floor, and clearly the monster didn’t want a flinching snack. Roxy saw Jex’s eyes dart up at her, he finally noticed his sister was bitten endlessly and he knew he had to stop it. Jex tirelessly reached out for his back-pack and the WAND fallen on the floor, he pulled the staff in and snatched a blue elixir from his back-pack.
He glided the bottle into the WAND’s slot and with one unintentional flick, the staff mechanically transformed into what appeared to be a steam-punk energy pistol, almost as big as a human forearm. All the metallic pieces shifted around into place, the hoops drifted over the stout barrel, the steel claws revolved around the body of the gun, and a trigger popped out above one of the arched pipes.
“My sister is no one’s Demon chow.” Jex whispered.
The elixir was screwed in slot tightly; Jex’s finger pressed down onto the trigger, and fired a blazing ball of bright blue light. The fiery blue ball struck the pack leader’s back: onto the pair of wings, the thin skin of his wings had burst into blue flames, the supernatural fire singed every last bit of his wings until only the wing’s bony arms and extensive fingers were left.
The leader abandoned Roxy’s body. A sign which silently commanded Roxy’s remaining Demons to leave her alone. The Demons’ leader furiously spun around, tossed Jex’s fourth Demon off the body, and lifted the teenager up with his former wings’ skeletal fingers impaled in Jex’s jaw. Roxy had never seen a Demon angry before and she never wanted to again. “Have you lost your mind, you puny earthling?! How dare you destroy a Dark God’s pair of wings?! Who are you to do such a thing?! A Demon who can’t fly is now worthless! I’m now nothing! You want revenge?! Is that what you want?! I’m going to have my revenge for what you have done to me! You’re going to pay!”
“How much?” Jex whimpered, Roxy had never seen Jex so afraid either.
“Only one simple price,” The Demon reverted back to its insanely giddy self, filled with upsetting giggles. “Now open wide.”
Jex refused to open his mouth, the Demon opened it for him by his wings’ fingers of mere bone. The Demon gushed into Jex’s mouth as thick maroon mist, he was utterly gone and Jex collapsed onto his knees. The tanned colour washed away and forsaken a sickly pale tone like the kind he always had whenever he was ill. His head hung over the floor as if he was about to vomit his stomach’s contents and his entire body’s blood supply.
Roxy carefully stood up and slowly approached him to see if he was okay. “Umm…Je…Jex.”
His skin’s true colour was returned to him, he effortlessly straightened his legs to stand up. Jex’s head eerily and sluggishly dragged itself back up, he faced Roxy with a creepy and murderous smile, his eyes were entirely maroon red like what Earl’s were earlier, and streams of blood flowed down his cheeks from the very same maroon eyes. “Yes, sister dearest?” He chuckled with the Demon’s whiny legion of various voices. Jex was possessed by the Demons’ pack leader!
The Demon-possessed Jex sprung off from his spot and smacked down onto Roxy’s body. Now flat on her back, she couldn’t stand to look into the maroon eyes when they were on her brother’s face, especially not on his face with a crazy grin. Jex’s body was enhanced with the Demon’s power, he was too fast to stop or escape as he punched Roxy’s face repeatedly. Each punch stung her face; her real brother would never hurt her in such a brutal way. Particularly not with laughter. “How do you like that, Jexie? Hmm…Jex, what an unusual name. How do you like seeing something you love get hurt? How do you like hearing a part of you sting? Hurts, doesn’t it? I know of course, now you should know.”
Before Roxy could yell at the Demon possessing Jex, she heard Luxor emotionlessly demand to him. “Let Jex go.”
“What?” The Demon inside Jex stopped punching Roxy.
Roxy rocked her head to the other side and her eyes shifted upwards, she saw Luxor close by. He was no more than a few metres away, he aimed Roxy’s prior sword at Jex’s body possessed by the Demon. A sight she never wanted to see. Luxor must’ve escaped his group of Demons and snatched the sword Roxy had dropped from the floor. “I said let Jex go.”
“What? You think just because you have a pointy stick thing, you have an advantage over me?”
“Precisely. This may not harm your true form, but it will certainly kill Jex’s body along with you, if I’m thorough with slicing.”
The Demon/Jex chuckled. “Oh, please. You wouldn’t kill your own flesh and blood just to get what you want.”
“Let Jex go.”
“Okeydokey, I’ll get out of here and take Jex with me.”
“That’s not what I said.”
“Right, you said I can get out of here and take Jex with me.”
“That’s not what I said at all, I said ‘let Jex go’.”
“Gotcha, that’s what you said. ‘Get out of here and take Jex with you’.”
“Shut up and let Jex go.”
“Excuse me!” Roxy shouted and her brothers glared at her. “Don’t you think you should say ‘let Roxy go’?! He’s standing on top of me right now!”
“Shushy shh shh.” The Demon/Jex whispered to her and turned back to Luxor. “See! She agrees with me, she said that I can go and take Jex with me.”
“That’s not what I s---”
The Demon/Jex never allowed Roxy to speak as he declared to his brethren. “Come along, buddies! I need help getting around; these guys might be yucky to taste anyway!”
All twelve Demons crashed through the windows in their flight, the glass shattered into explosions of transparent shards. Two of the Demons carried their disguised leader with them. They soared together as one massive cluster of redness into the night, like an outstanding blood splat on dark blue velvet.
Roxy was only capable of screeching one word as she stared through a window’s jagged hole, at the red speck and her brother vanishing into the darkness. “Jex!”
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Posted at: 9:51 am on May 6, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Man, if I was Earl I would have took off and left the place when I heard the giggles and whispering. It truely was his last day, but not just his last day at work. Those red creatures (I think they're demons) really know how to send a person out in style. Well the good news for Earl was that he got off early and his spine probably doesn't hurt anymore. Bad news, he didn't get the retirement that he was looking foward to.
"Beyblade is all about a Blader's spirit. I won't give in to a guy who has no respect for that, who thinks it's a joke."-Sora
The Vespers are going down!!!!
Posted at: 3:42 pm on May 6, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
AWESOME! It has just the right ameant, of Creepy-ness, Mystrey-ness, Witty-ness. ITS SO SO GOOD! Man id it dosent get excepted, then well.... What will? Your really cleaver, which mosst people arent! You have Amazing writing skills, and I Love, yout title names! And the cliffhangers, all amazing, your really good at those.
Another Amazing Chapter Laruan!
Name: Adrienne Cahill. Age: 14
Come to the semi, Dark, semi Bright side..... We have CUPCAKES!
So I was like-... UNICORNS!
Posted at: 3:34 pm on May 7, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
This was so good! I loved the one about Earl. It was creepy and eerie. Well, in a good way. I loved the way you add alot of detail in your writing. I could visualize the creature. The vocabulary was strong and that is fabulous because it adds more of a mature aspect to your writing. You are an amazing author. Keep it up! :)
~Abby
Girl on Fire
Team Peeta!
Yes, I am a Belieber and Directioner.
"Deep in the meadow, under the willow. A bed of Grass, a soft green pillow."
Posted at: 6:48 pm on May 7, 2012
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Posted at: 6:02 pm on May 8, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
You are such an amazing and inspirational writer. Your stories are completely, without a doubt, some of the best writing I've ever read - and yes, that includes people like Rick Riordan and J.K.Rowling. Your writing is so incredible, especially when you're just writing about things like sibling drama and squabbling, you have such funny and clever comments and retorts that I just read these sneak peeks, like, four times. They are absolutely fantastic, and the ideas are so well-thought-out and elaborate that it's almost like art - something that has the big picture, little details, and perfect views on perspective. Your characters are such deep and brillaintly created that they almost seem real, and you can expect what kind of things they'd say, like you'd think around a real person. For me, this sort of thing is a major part of when I'm reading a book or story, because some characters seem shallow and small, but all of your charcters are just brilliant. I especially love how you put things almost like the clue hunt, but you put in soem of the best styles of novels: action, thriller, horror, magic, and life. It's absolutely insane how wonderful you have made these stories.
Corrin
I'm writing a series right now, with magic and that sort of thing, but I'm not sure if they're any good. Do you think I should post the plot or something on the message board to see if anyone thinks they're any good? Just wondering. :)
Corrin
I'm writing a series right now, with magic and that sort of thing, but I'm not sure if they're any good. Do you think I should post the plot or something on the message board to see if anyone thinks they're any good? Just wondering. :)
Corinne J
Rise of the Guardians RP (45051)Sisters Grimm RP (44203)
We’ll miss you, Morgan!J
“But inthis twilight,our choicessealourfate.”
~Mumford& Sons
Posted at: 8:35 pm on May 8, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
@IridescentAgent13 Of course you should! :) That's one of the reasons I posted sneak peeks of my novel online, I want to know what fans of the novels' particular genres think of my novel, to see if my novel series wasn't a mistake, to know that it should published and if it's popular. That and to get people to know the series even before it's published so once it's out, they would want to get it.
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Posted at: 11:16 pm on May 8, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
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Posted at: 4:48 am on May 9, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
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Posted at: 11:25 pm on May 10, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Lauren,i like the last two chapters.you have balanced the plot of the story correctly with the dialogues of the characters,and the chapters have an extra factor which intrugues the reader,compelling them to read on until the book has finished.its a good story,and i like it just fine :)
Smriti
Smriti
Smriti
Catching Fire~ November 22,2013
“Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was choice, but loving you was beyond my control...”
Posted at: 3:15 am on May 11, 2012
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Posted at: 7:30 pm on May 11, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
BUMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Posted at: 8:06 pm on May 12, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Book 12 of my latest series is no longer called 'Invention does not consist in creating out of void but out of chaos' since it's far too long. It's now called 'Pour a Torrent of Light into the Dark World' another quote made by the basis of the book, Mary Shelley. Oh, and Book 11's title no longer has the word 'us' in it.
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Posted at: 9:07 am on May 13, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Everyone! I want to let you know that I changed the title of book 3 of my second series as well as it was far too long! It used to be Book 3. Dying is easy, avoiding it when one's hands carry a powerful secret is hard.
But now it's called Book 3. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.
Wanna know why I called it that? 1. Because the third book doesn't have a trail of clues made by a real person, but a fictional one, so I can choose a really cool idiom instead. 2. the book is partly about water. 3. the idiom means to choose between undesirable sitiuation, which one of the main characters gets stuck into...and it's literally between an evil character and the ocean. 4. It sounds AWESOME.
But now it's called Book 3. Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea.
Wanna know why I called it that? 1. Because the third book doesn't have a trail of clues made by a real person, but a fictional one, so I can choose a really cool idiom instead. 2. the book is partly about water. 3. the idiom means to choose between undesirable sitiuation, which one of the main characters gets stuck into...and it's literally between an evil character and the ocean. 4. It sounds AWESOME.
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Posted at: 9:10 am on May 13, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
I want to let you know that I changed the title of Cheating Death's second book to 'Under the Cloak of War' as the former title was far too long.
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Posted at: 9:11 am on May 13, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
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Posted at: 5:30 pm on May 14, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
I'll report sometime later when I have time.
"Beyblade is all about a Blader's spirit. I won't give in to a guy who has no respect for that, who thinks it's a joke."-Sora
The Vespers are going down!!!!
Posted at: 8:09 pm on May 14, 2012
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Posted at: 9:38 am on May 16, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Hey all!! Lola couldn't email so I am talking to her on the phone. Sorry I would have called sooner, but I'm OVERLOADED. From dance compitations (FIRST PLACE!! OH YEAH!!) to robotics. I'm overloaded.
Here's what Lola had to say (I'll use a different font):
Hi hi hi! Taskforce members!! [Me: Lola are you sure about all the hi's?Lola: YESSS!! ] It is me, you're humble 7 year old [Me: You sound poetic. Have you been reading Shakespere? Lola: Yes -_- why do you care? Me: Just asking...] So I'm here to write about Lauren's fab work. Ok here goes... First off. EARL!!! REALLY!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I always pictured an old coot guy with the name Earl or Carl or Jankens; OLD MAN JANKENS!!! [Me: Lola,stay on topic. Lola: STOP TALKIINNGG!!!] So about half way through the first paragraph I was all WHOOOAAA!! Wow that is descriptive!!! I couldn't do that! So "He wheezed and ran for his life" I was like RUN OLD GUY RUN!! From Forest Gump? That movie? THat funny?? No, oh whatever!! So "Pretty please with sugar on top" [Me: I'm changing fonts. WHere have I heard that pretty please thing? Lola: Less talkin more writing! Me: I can stop you know. Lola: *most likely staring at the phone blankly like this o_o*] Ok Katydid cut me off and now I lost my place [Me: It's not my fault! Lola: Live for once KAtydid Me: Hey! I have dance robotics- Lola: SSHHUUTT UUPP!!] . Oh yeah! So the- [Me: Lola I have to go Lola: AWW!]
I'll continue later
-K.C and Lola
Here's what Lola had to say (I'll use a different font):
Hi hi hi! Taskforce members!! [Me: Lola are you sure about all the hi's?Lola: YESSS!! ] It is me, you're humble 7 year old [Me: You sound poetic. Have you been reading Shakespere? Lola: Yes -_- why do you care? Me: Just asking...] So I'm here to write about Lauren's fab work. Ok here goes... First off. EARL!!! REALLY!! HAHAHAHAHAHA!! I always pictured an old coot guy with the name Earl or Carl or Jankens; OLD MAN JANKENS!!! [Me: Lola,stay on topic. Lola: STOP TALKIINNGG!!!] So about half way through the first paragraph I was all WHOOOAAA!! Wow that is descriptive!!! I couldn't do that! So "He wheezed and ran for his life" I was like RUN OLD GUY RUN!! From Forest Gump? That movie? THat funny?? No, oh whatever!! So "Pretty please with sugar on top" [Me: I'm changing fonts. WHere have I heard that pretty please thing? Lola: Less talkin more writing! Me: I can stop you know. Lola: *most likely staring at the phone blankly like this o_o*] Ok Katydid cut me off and now I lost my place [Me: It's not my fault! Lola: Live for once KAtydid Me: Hey! I have dance robotics- Lola: SSHHUUTT UUPP!!] . Oh yeah! So the- [Me: Lola I have to go Lola: AWW!]
I'll continue later
-K.C and Lola
Half Ekat
Half Lucian
"Ingenuity above all"- Katherine Cahill "Smartness before vanity" -me
I may not be a Tomas, Madrigal, or Janus... but I am beautiful, even without their skills
Posted at: 9:05 pm on May 16, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
@Kathrine AWW! Lola is adorable and utterly hilarious! She reminds me of Penelope, a reception (kindergardener(sp?)) who goes to my school and is on the same school bus as me. I'm so happy she likes my work...PLEASE CONTINUE :)
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 11:55 pm on May 16, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Ok here is more from Lola:
Soo as I was saying before KAtydid cut me off [Me: You act like you don't cut me off. Lola: *Starts singing "Somebody that I used to know"] Ok so The "Smile, smile, pretty, pretty" reminds me of my kindergarden yearbook photos. The lady doing the pictures was like "Ok Lola-bear, smile pretty pretty for the camera!" I looked at her like she was crazy. I was thinking to myself "Lay off the meds lady!" I bet she was lonely. [Me: HAHAHAHA! Lola: -_- SHe was a nutjob. Me: *falls off desk chair*]. How weird is that. A weird thought came to mind. Earl in a BATHING SUIT [Me: You have a strange mind... Lola: I know, thank you]. And when Earl blacked out I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OLD GUY!!! HE LIVED SOO LONG! WHHHHYYYY!!!" And the spider things, creepy [Me: I thought you conqured your arachnaphobia. Lola: Arackna-whacha-what? Me: Fear of - nevermind]
Have I said this before? Oh well. If that Random House of Austrailia (I learned the name :D) doesn't take your work, then I'll cry! and write a strong note to them saying that THEY DON"T KNOW TALENT WHEN ITS WRITTEN IN BLACK AND WHITE and color (Thanks Taskforce member I forgot who, but thanks for pointing that out!) That is the end of my review. IF you don't think it's good then remember that I'm 7!
From your wacky, comical friend,
Lola
P.S Call me Lola-bear there will be trouble (Just KIDDING!! :D)
{Later}
Lola: Sooo how was I?
Me: Enh
Lola: HEY!
Me: I'm just kiddding you were great
Lola: Will I be a part of Taskforce now??
Me: We'll hope for the best.
Lola: What's araknaphobia (she prounounced it like that)
Me: Fear of spiders
Lola: *smacks self* I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!
Me: XD
Soo as I was saying before KAtydid cut me off [Me: You act like you don't cut me off. Lola: *Starts singing "Somebody that I used to know"] Ok so The "Smile, smile, pretty, pretty" reminds me of my kindergarden yearbook photos. The lady doing the pictures was like "Ok Lola-bear, smile pretty pretty for the camera!" I looked at her like she was crazy. I was thinking to myself "Lay off the meds lady!" I bet she was lonely. [Me: HAHAHAHA! Lola: -_- SHe was a nutjob. Me: *falls off desk chair*]. How weird is that. A weird thought came to mind. Earl in a BATHING SUIT [Me: You have a strange mind... Lola: I know, thank you]. And when Earl blacked out I was like "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OLD GUY!!! HE LIVED SOO LONG! WHHHHYYYY!!!" And the spider things, creepy [Me: I thought you conqured your arachnaphobia. Lola: Arackna-whacha-what? Me: Fear of - nevermind]
Have I said this before? Oh well. If that Random House of Austrailia (I learned the name :D) doesn't take your work, then I'll cry! and write a strong note to them saying that THEY DON"T KNOW TALENT WHEN ITS WRITTEN IN BLACK AND WHITE and color (Thanks Taskforce member I forgot who, but thanks for pointing that out!) That is the end of my review. IF you don't think it's good then remember that I'm 7!
From your wacky, comical friend,
Lola
P.S Call me Lola-bear there will be trouble (Just KIDDING!! :D)
{Later}
Lola: Sooo how was I?
Me: Enh
Lola: HEY!
Me: I'm just kiddding you were great
Lola: Will I be a part of Taskforce now??
Me: We'll hope for the best.
Lola: What's araknaphobia (she prounounced it like that)
Me: Fear of spiders
Lola: *smacks self* I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN!!
Me: XD
Half Ekat
Half Lucian
"Ingenuity above all"- Katherine Cahill "Smartness before vanity" -me
I may not be a Tomas, Madrigal, or Janus... but I am beautiful, even without their skills
Posted at: 10:37 pm on May 17, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
bump!
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 11:52 pm on May 17, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Ok I've finally found the time to comment more on your story. Wow! That's all I can say. Wow! I'm speechless. I can't believe Luxor would have ran Jex/demon through with the sword. Gods can't be destroyed, but they can be slowed down or imprisoned. Roxy and Luxor should carry around salt and iron fillings in their pockets, so that the next time they bump into Jex/Demon, they might be able to get rid of the demon. Salt and iron won't destroy a creature of the dark, but it will hurt them and slow them down. That's probably why the Iron Madien hurt the demon, because the spikes are made of Iron. It was hilarious when the demon was twisting Luxor's words up. Demons may act childish, but they can be actually pretty smart and devious. Roxy probably hurt the most because they kept on eating her even though she did heal, but it would have been painful to be eaten like a hundred times and you couldn't die. Luxor is most likely taller now thanks to the demons.
"Beyblade is all about a Blader's spirit. I won't give in to a guy who has no respect for that, who thinks it's a joke."-Sora
The Vespers are going down!!!!
Posted at: 6:15 pm on May 18, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Whoa...Lauren, this is great!
Demons are...eugh. (in general) but what happens to Jex?!
The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
@EmeraldCobra502 *sing song tone* You'll have to wait till it gets published to find out what happens to Jex
Hehehe. (Sorry, I don't want to spoil it, they call them cliffhangers for a reason. So keep holding onto that cliff until the book comes out. 
). But I was wondering, why do you like it? I always ask that, but I'm just a very curious person.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 11:07 am on May 20, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Abbey's Review for chapter 49
Well done, well done, (slow claps, i don't know why) probably a little grouesum(sp) for my taste, but you built such a vivid picture it was almost hard not to see what you were describing. Poor, poor Earl, feel bad for him. Great job using figuritive language to describe your settings and characters, with creatures so unhuman you did a great job relating things that we know of to describe what your mind has come up with. Your grammar (hey i spelled it right) is exceptional, my humanities teacher would love you. I've never seen someone capture something so dark, and mystical in just one chapter and create a whole diffrent world, it's amazing. Most professional authors can't do that. It's so mysterious that i can't be sure what i'm going to read next, from moppingg the floors to hearing voices, to seeing guards get ripped to shreds, to dying. Woah, i don't even think i could muster something like that. As my humanities teacher would say that your tone is dark and eerie just like the story and your style is very diffrent from what i've ever heard before, it creates a whole new setting that this generation has forgotten. All in all, well done.
Dance Academy RP
Make your life colorful you never know what could come out of it -ME
The laws of physics... merely loose suggestions
WHOVIAN
District 5 Tribute
Come to the dork side we have Pi.
Posted at: 7:51 pm on May 21, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
bump
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 11:00 am on May 25, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Amazing like totally!
Tyler
Pandas are fuzzy and strawberries and delicious.
Cheese balls are cheezy.
:D
Posted at: 6:30 pm on May 25, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
bump
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 8:13 am on May 26, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
don't worry lauren i know there are a couple more chapters, i jsut didn't have time to post the next chapters
Dance Academy RP
Make your life colorful you never know what could come out of it -ME
The laws of physics... merely loose suggestions
WHOVIAN
District 5 Tribute
Come to the dork side we have Pi.
Posted at: 2:59 am on May 27, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Hey everyone, I just want to let you know that I renamed book 6 of Cheating Death series. I though it was too Indianna-jonesy if that makes any sense. It used to be called Book 6. Adventure is just bad planning but now it's called Book 6. The Devil's Ballroom. It's what the main historic character called a dangerous area of the Antartic. I also thought it could soon enough mean the ballroom you dance with death on (for those who don't know, dancing with death means to take a risk).
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Posted at: 5:30 am on May 27, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
Wow.... Just wow...... AMAZING. As always I LOVE your writing :) I worship you and your awesomeness. My favourite parts were the hilarious comments shared between Roxy, Jex and Luxor. Absolutely genius. I wish I could write as well as you :( you put so much detail into your writing. Perhaps a little TOO much when describing the killing of the guards though? I laugh in the face of horror movies, My dream job is to be a flesh eating zombie and Halloween is my absolute favourite time of year and even I thought it was particularly gruesome. In fact some readers with weaker stomach's just might throw up... WHICH IS AWESOME. Nevertheless I thoroughly enjoyed it. :) KEEP ON WRITING. Your official #1 fan Xavie :D
I LIKE PIE :D
...Akward silence turtle...
Don't give me that look -.-
I'M NOT WEIRD YOU ARE!!!!
Posted at: 3:52 am on May 28, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
bump
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 6:19 pm on May 30, 2012
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The three latest chapters of Cheating Death: Book 1. The Earth belongs to the living, not to the dea...
bump
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 9:04 am on June 1, 2012
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