Ok. Here's the intro of the story. Please Give Comments and suggestions!
My dad; he’s a lot of different things. To people at work, he’s a man at the top of the work force and he’s extremely hardworking. To his friends, he’s got it all. He’s got character, and he’s got the money. To my mom, he’s a loving husband who takes care of his family. To my brother and sister, he’s the best dad ever who gets them anything they ask for, and takes them anywhere they want to go. But to me, all the ways he acts like for other people are fake. They’re just a mask, covering up his true identity. He’s a mind controller – and he controls my mind; he knows no mercy.
Tell me if I should continue.
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 11:54 am on December 27, 2011
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Also, Athleticforce3: I just make it up as I go. When I first started the story, I never intended the dream to exist or anything.... And if any of you guys were wondering, I came up with the story from a dream that was totally different from what the stories turning out to be.
Sorry for the late reply though
Sorry for the late reply though
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 9:56 am on March 23, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Are you continuing the story??? It's really good.
Ryzee Cahill :)
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote :)
GO SMILEY FACES :)
Posted at: 7:11 pm on March 23, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Yup! I'm continuing right now!
Chapter 1 Part 7
After I had gotten over the initial shock of the horrifying dream, I started to wonder if the dream had some truth behind it and that maybe Sarah and Connor were telekinetic because, hey, if mind reading existed, why not telekinesis? As I was absorbed in all these thoughts, Sarah called my name. “Evelyn.” She called, “I think I’ve memorized everything this time, can you test me now?” I slowly got back to reality, and straightened up in my chair; “What?” I asked, confused, “Test you on what? What are you talking about?” Sarah looked deeply into my eyes, and I saw that her eyes were full of concern. No wonder, I thought; first I had thought she had locked the door to my room and now I didn’t even know what she was talking about, even though it had only been about two minutes since we had last talked. “Um, Evelyn,” Sarah started, “you said you would quiz me on the elements I told you I didn’t know the atomic masses of. So, do you remember? The elements were promethium, neodymium -” “I remember, it’s ok.” I said, cutting her off, “I was just zoned out, that’s all. Alright, um, what’s the atomic mass of promethium?” I crossed my fingers, hoping she would get this one right at least. She replied quickly, “145. And the atomic mass of neodymium is 144.242.” I smiled, she had been able to memorize them after all, it had just taken her longer to focus than usual thanks to –. All of a sudden, an idea popped into my head. I could ask my dad about telekinesis and then I would be able to find out more about it. I could find out if it existed, and other details about it. “Um, Sarah, I’m going to go get a snack from the kitchen.” I said, getting up from the chair. “Ok,” she replied, “get me some chocolate chip cookies while you’re there.”
I started walking to the study, and suddenly, I remembered what I had done. I had beat my dad in a mind reading duel, and the last time I had seen him was this morning, when he had been slumped over in his leather chair, because I had made him unconscious. I slowed my pace to the study, and started having second thoughts. There was no doubt he would be furious, and there was no knowing what he would do to me. I decided I would just have to see what would happen. I stopped outside the study and slowly lifted my hand to the doorknob. I tried to turn it, but my hand was so sweaty it slipped. I wiped my hand on my pants and tried again; I slowly opened the door and stepped inside the study. I closed the door quietly behind me and looked around the room. My dad was still there in the chair, but there was one main difference from when I had left the study earlier. Now, he was conscious, and the look he gave me sent a shiver down my spine.
Sorry about the REALLY late post guys!!!!
Chapter 1 Part 7
After I had gotten over the initial shock of the horrifying dream, I started to wonder if the dream had some truth behind it and that maybe Sarah and Connor were telekinetic because, hey, if mind reading existed, why not telekinesis? As I was absorbed in all these thoughts, Sarah called my name. “Evelyn.” She called, “I think I’ve memorized everything this time, can you test me now?” I slowly got back to reality, and straightened up in my chair; “What?” I asked, confused, “Test you on what? What are you talking about?” Sarah looked deeply into my eyes, and I saw that her eyes were full of concern. No wonder, I thought; first I had thought she had locked the door to my room and now I didn’t even know what she was talking about, even though it had only been about two minutes since we had last talked. “Um, Evelyn,” Sarah started, “you said you would quiz me on the elements I told you I didn’t know the atomic masses of. So, do you remember? The elements were promethium, neodymium -” “I remember, it’s ok.” I said, cutting her off, “I was just zoned out, that’s all. Alright, um, what’s the atomic mass of promethium?” I crossed my fingers, hoping she would get this one right at least. She replied quickly, “145. And the atomic mass of neodymium is 144.242.” I smiled, she had been able to memorize them after all, it had just taken her longer to focus than usual thanks to –. All of a sudden, an idea popped into my head. I could ask my dad about telekinesis and then I would be able to find out more about it. I could find out if it existed, and other details about it. “Um, Sarah, I’m going to go get a snack from the kitchen.” I said, getting up from the chair. “Ok,” she replied, “get me some chocolate chip cookies while you’re there.”
I started walking to the study, and suddenly, I remembered what I had done. I had beat my dad in a mind reading duel, and the last time I had seen him was this morning, when he had been slumped over in his leather chair, because I had made him unconscious. I slowed my pace to the study, and started having second thoughts. There was no doubt he would be furious, and there was no knowing what he would do to me. I decided I would just have to see what would happen. I stopped outside the study and slowly lifted my hand to the doorknob. I tried to turn it, but my hand was so sweaty it slipped. I wiped my hand on my pants and tried again; I slowly opened the door and stepped inside the study. I closed the door quietly behind me and looked around the room. My dad was still there in the chair, but there was one main difference from when I had left the study earlier. Now, he was conscious, and the look he gave me sent a shiver down my spine.
Sorry about the REALLY late post guys!!!!
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 4:05 pm on March 25, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Yeah, your back!
Stopstarring........Youcan'tavoidme!-Me
Inlifeyou'reeitherweridandproudofitorweirdandyouhideit.Eitherwayyou'restillweird,butifyouhideityouhidepartofyourself.
Posted at: 6:01 pm on March 26, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Yay!!!
Ryzee Cahill :)
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote :)
GO SMILEY FACES :)
Posted at: 12:48 am on March 30, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
OH MY GOODNESS YOU'RE BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *gives a big virtual hug* AND THANK YOU FOR CONTINUING!!!!!!!!!!!! :)
-Kim :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Kimberly :D
Wind and Fire Speaker
A CHAIN REACTION OF COMPASSION
Posted at: 12:52 pm on March 30, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Woo Hoo! *does a little dance* your back thank you!! This story is like soooooo amazing! I totally agree with you Kim.
-Kat ; )
Punctuation saves lives! Or else the panda eats,shoots,and leaves. My question-Who gave the panda a gun?
Go ahead.Judge me.Just remember to be perfect the rest of your life.
Dreams=soulfood
Posted at: 11:26 am on March 31, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
I almost gave up on you but you prevailed!!!! I am so happy right now.
GhaifhjaeosuhrwitueUDCIWANUU EWYCS7EBUIS!
GhaifhjaeosuhrwitueUDCIWANUU EWYCS7EBUIS!
“Am I not destroying my enemies when I make friends of them?”
~Abraham Lincoln
A chain reaction of COMPASSION
Sandwich (That Kid In Arizona)
Posted at: 12:04 am on April 1, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
write more and more finish the story its at the best part please
Daughter of Poseiden,Nocturnal,Warrior of Thunderclan,Shape-shifter,Duantless,Horror Fan,3 Child,District 12,Animal Lover,Poptropican
I speak for the cookies
Posted at: 11:51 am on April 1, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Thank you for coming back
Awsome
Might be coming back
Vesper(maybe)
um...
Posted at: 3:45 pm on April 1, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
WOOT!!! Glad you're back!! I add my own virtual hug to Kim's. Awesome addtion!!
Megan, 19
Green Rider and Honorary Black Sheild.
"Punctuation saves lives!" Let's eat Grandma.(just sayen' I'm no cannibal) or Let's eat, Grandma.
Posted at: 4:42 pm on April 1, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Yay! People are back on the post. Thanks guys for all your commitment. Here's the next part...
Chapter 1 Part 8
I took a step back, so I was standing as close to the door as possible without bumping into it. “Ah, Evelyn, congratulations.” My dad hissed in a serpentine voice, laughing maliciously, “Congratulations on your success. I see you have finally discovered something new about mind reading on your own for once. You are good, no not good, better than I expected. Oh, Evelyn, if only you knew, if only.” He stood up and started towards me until we were face to face. “Evelyn, sweetheart, I have plans for you you’d never have dreamed of. You will become something greater than any in this decade, possibly century! You, you have the capability and I will make sure you do just that.” He lifted his hand and placed it under my chin, forcing my head up. “I can see it in your face. That look I have seen in many a mind reader. That of determination, of success, of victory for our kind. But you mustn’t have doubts; you must believe you are right. You must believe you are doing the right thing, the thing that is proper, and I myself shall guide you.” I shoved his hand off of my chin and looked him straight in the eye, “Who do you think you are, saying all these meaningless words?” I asked, “Yes, these are noble words but they are nothing when spoken by something as horrible as you. I might’ve been fooled by your seemingly sweet words before, but now, now I’ve become less trusting, your lies have taught me that. As for me becoming something, you made sure that wouldn’t happen when you hid my university acceptance replies! It seems you’re just here to ruin my life, it’s not like you’ve done anything other than that so far. And you know what else? I already believe what I’m doing is right, by rebelling against you. If you truly wanted to guide me, you would leave me alone and wouldn’t have explained what mind reading really was. I would rather be blind like before, I would rather have lived in ignorance, rather than face this – this life. Oh this horrible life!” I was about to start bawling there and then, but my pride kept me from showing my weakness to my dad. Instead, I balled my fists and dug my nails into my palms, trying to get a grip on myself.
Chapter 1 Part 8
I took a step back, so I was standing as close to the door as possible without bumping into it. “Ah, Evelyn, congratulations.” My dad hissed in a serpentine voice, laughing maliciously, “Congratulations on your success. I see you have finally discovered something new about mind reading on your own for once. You are good, no not good, better than I expected. Oh, Evelyn, if only you knew, if only.” He stood up and started towards me until we were face to face. “Evelyn, sweetheart, I have plans for you you’d never have dreamed of. You will become something greater than any in this decade, possibly century! You, you have the capability and I will make sure you do just that.” He lifted his hand and placed it under my chin, forcing my head up. “I can see it in your face. That look I have seen in many a mind reader. That of determination, of success, of victory for our kind. But you mustn’t have doubts; you must believe you are right. You must believe you are doing the right thing, the thing that is proper, and I myself shall guide you.” I shoved his hand off of my chin and looked him straight in the eye, “Who do you think you are, saying all these meaningless words?” I asked, “Yes, these are noble words but they are nothing when spoken by something as horrible as you. I might’ve been fooled by your seemingly sweet words before, but now, now I’ve become less trusting, your lies have taught me that. As for me becoming something, you made sure that wouldn’t happen when you hid my university acceptance replies! It seems you’re just here to ruin my life, it’s not like you’ve done anything other than that so far. And you know what else? I already believe what I’m doing is right, by rebelling against you. If you truly wanted to guide me, you would leave me alone and wouldn’t have explained what mind reading really was. I would rather be blind like before, I would rather have lived in ignorance, rather than face this – this life. Oh this horrible life!” I was about to start bawling there and then, but my pride kept me from showing my weakness to my dad. Instead, I balled my fists and dug my nails into my palms, trying to get a grip on myself.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 6:22 pm on April 1, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Yay!! Your still continuing!!! Thanks so much!
Ryzee Cahill :)
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote :)
GO SMILEY FACES :)
Posted at: 4:30 pm on April 3, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
This is seriously good! So intense and addictive, you have an knack for suspense.
But there is one little thing you should considers. <----/ Enter the beginning of each dialogue so it won't be squished into the paragraph. Now that I commented on your story, I hope you do the same with mine.
PLEASE READ AND REVIEW THESE! show/12433 (summaires) show/13140 show/13947 show/17659 show/22376
Posted at: 9:47 pm on April 7, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
SecretAlliance10: What story are you talking about? If you want me to read it then just post the link on this post.
For everyone else: will post later.
For everyone else: will post later.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 3:16 pm on April 8, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
If you have any suggestions guys PLEASE TELL ME!! Lots of stuff is being revealed....interesting...
Chapter 1 Part 9
“Evelyn, do not talk like that. I’ve told you time and time again, yet you do not seem to understand. I am not the evil one as you seem to believe. I am simply thinking about your future. This is for your sake, Evelyn, not mine.” My dad said, sighing. “Now, you obviously didn’t come here to check on your dad, so what is it that brought you here?” Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure that it was a good idea to tell him about Sarah’s dream, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say so I decided to leave out some facts and only tell him some of the dream. I took a deep breath and calmly said, “Sarah recently had a dream that she was preoccupied about. In that dream, she was telekinetic and she moved some stuff with her mind. Connor was there too, and she gave him something. I was wondering, is telekinesis real? I figured since mind reading is real, telekinesis might be too.” I could tell that my dad was surprised, but he quickly hid his emotions. “Evelyn, the time has come to tell you what I have been preparing you for, what all those mind reading lessons were about.” He started. I could tell he had probably prepared this speech a long time ago and rehearsed it over and over until he knew it by heart. “To answer your question, telekinesis is real, and from what you have told me, it seems that Sarah and Connor may be telekinetic. Evelyn, we are not the only mind readers in the world. There is a large network of mind readers called the Varlentians that I am part of, and that you will soon join. The telekinetics also have a large network called the Wenderlens, and the Varlentians have been fighting against them for centuries. I have been training you so that you can become an active member of the mind readers and fight for our cause.” I gasped as I slowly realized what this all meant. Suddenly, I started to wonder whether my dad was on the right side after all, that maybe only his harsh ways of training me had gotten in the way of seeing the truth. “Wait,” I started, “does that mean that one of our ancestors is telekinetic and that’s why Sarah and Connor are too?”
“No,” My dad replied, “honestly, Evelyn. All the members of the Varlentians are born mind readers, and it is impossible for someone to become a mind reader if they were not born with that power waiting to bud. The Wenderlens are completely different. Telekinesis is no natural thing. It was discovered by Markus Wenderlen, which is also how they came up with the name of their organization. The Wenderlens teach the knowledge to others, and that is how someone becomes a Wenderlen. And before you ask me if the Varlentians are named after the first mind reader, the answer is yes. Lucas Varlentia was the first mind reader, although he didn’t discover it, he was born with the power.” Hundreds of questions popped into my mind, I could barely think from the amount, “So then, who would teach Sarah and Connor telekinesis?” My dad looked at me as if I was utterly stupid, and I blushed furiously, “Evelyn,” He said annoyed, “you couldn’t have asked a more stupid question. Anyone could have taught them, absolutely anyone.” I spoke quietly, afraid of the answer that he would say inevitably, “Does that mean I have to fight against them?” I crossed my fingers, hoping my expectations would be wrong, “Of course.” He replied. “What did you think? Just because we’re related to them they can be spared? Absolutely not.”
Suddenly, I realized what had been happening in the past few minutes: I had been warming up to my dad, believing all his lies. This last response reminded me of all the hatred and anger I possessed for my dad, and I was shocked that my dad had been able to subdue me so easily. I quickly built up my anger and said scathingly, “And of course, you think that I’m going to help you get rid of them, like the good little girl that I am. This is just stupid, plain stupid. I mean, why are the Varlentians and Wenderlens fighting in the first place?” I wondered what would cause such a big fight that lasted centuries, so big that it was still going strong, but I failed to find a big enough reason. “Well,” my dad began, “mind reading isn’t the power the Varlentians possess. We also possess something so valuable that the Wenderlens have been trying to obtain from us for centuries. It is the cause of these fights, and the ancient rivalry between us. It is the reason these big network organizations were founded in the first place. It is the reason we are having this conversation. The Varlentians possess the power to speak to animals, and control them. Later in his life, after he discovered he was a mind reader, Lucas Varlentia read the mind of an animal, and when reading its thoughts, he could see and hear the animal’s memories. Eventually, he was able to compile a dictionary of its language – it was a cat. He learned the language, and therefore had the ability to speak to animals. He discovered that once he could speak cat, he automatically had the ability to speak to all animals, and had full control over them, as they are lower than humans and not as intelligent. He created a pact with the animals, and he and his family were greatly known among them. Markus Wenderlen found out about Lucas’ ability, he wanted to be able to communicate too, so he could take control over all animals, and use them to build his power. He was greedy, your average villain. He wanted to control the world. Animals are friendly to all Varlentians, and are on our side of this fight. This is the big reason this fight has been going on for centuries.” I realized I had been holding my breath, and exhaled. I was stunned, I had thought my dad was only overreacting, but being able to control animals, that was something. This fight was serious, and Connor and Sarah were involved; and they were on the wrong side.
Chapter 1 Part 9
“Evelyn, do not talk like that. I’ve told you time and time again, yet you do not seem to understand. I am not the evil one as you seem to believe. I am simply thinking about your future. This is for your sake, Evelyn, not mine.” My dad said, sighing. “Now, you obviously didn’t come here to check on your dad, so what is it that brought you here?” Suddenly, I wasn’t so sure that it was a good idea to tell him about Sarah’s dream, but I couldn’t think of anything else to say so I decided to leave out some facts and only tell him some of the dream. I took a deep breath and calmly said, “Sarah recently had a dream that she was preoccupied about. In that dream, she was telekinetic and she moved some stuff with her mind. Connor was there too, and she gave him something. I was wondering, is telekinesis real? I figured since mind reading is real, telekinesis might be too.” I could tell that my dad was surprised, but he quickly hid his emotions. “Evelyn, the time has come to tell you what I have been preparing you for, what all those mind reading lessons were about.” He started. I could tell he had probably prepared this speech a long time ago and rehearsed it over and over until he knew it by heart. “To answer your question, telekinesis is real, and from what you have told me, it seems that Sarah and Connor may be telekinetic. Evelyn, we are not the only mind readers in the world. There is a large network of mind readers called the Varlentians that I am part of, and that you will soon join. The telekinetics also have a large network called the Wenderlens, and the Varlentians have been fighting against them for centuries. I have been training you so that you can become an active member of the mind readers and fight for our cause.” I gasped as I slowly realized what this all meant. Suddenly, I started to wonder whether my dad was on the right side after all, that maybe only his harsh ways of training me had gotten in the way of seeing the truth. “Wait,” I started, “does that mean that one of our ancestors is telekinetic and that’s why Sarah and Connor are too?”
“No,” My dad replied, “honestly, Evelyn. All the members of the Varlentians are born mind readers, and it is impossible for someone to become a mind reader if they were not born with that power waiting to bud. The Wenderlens are completely different. Telekinesis is no natural thing. It was discovered by Markus Wenderlen, which is also how they came up with the name of their organization. The Wenderlens teach the knowledge to others, and that is how someone becomes a Wenderlen. And before you ask me if the Varlentians are named after the first mind reader, the answer is yes. Lucas Varlentia was the first mind reader, although he didn’t discover it, he was born with the power.” Hundreds of questions popped into my mind, I could barely think from the amount, “So then, who would teach Sarah and Connor telekinesis?” My dad looked at me as if I was utterly stupid, and I blushed furiously, “Evelyn,” He said annoyed, “you couldn’t have asked a more stupid question. Anyone could have taught them, absolutely anyone.” I spoke quietly, afraid of the answer that he would say inevitably, “Does that mean I have to fight against them?” I crossed my fingers, hoping my expectations would be wrong, “Of course.” He replied. “What did you think? Just because we’re related to them they can be spared? Absolutely not.”
Suddenly, I realized what had been happening in the past few minutes: I had been warming up to my dad, believing all his lies. This last response reminded me of all the hatred and anger I possessed for my dad, and I was shocked that my dad had been able to subdue me so easily. I quickly built up my anger and said scathingly, “And of course, you think that I’m going to help you get rid of them, like the good little girl that I am. This is just stupid, plain stupid. I mean, why are the Varlentians and Wenderlens fighting in the first place?” I wondered what would cause such a big fight that lasted centuries, so big that it was still going strong, but I failed to find a big enough reason. “Well,” my dad began, “mind reading isn’t the power the Varlentians possess. We also possess something so valuable that the Wenderlens have been trying to obtain from us for centuries. It is the cause of these fights, and the ancient rivalry between us. It is the reason these big network organizations were founded in the first place. It is the reason we are having this conversation. The Varlentians possess the power to speak to animals, and control them. Later in his life, after he discovered he was a mind reader, Lucas Varlentia read the mind of an animal, and when reading its thoughts, he could see and hear the animal’s memories. Eventually, he was able to compile a dictionary of its language – it was a cat. He learned the language, and therefore had the ability to speak to animals. He discovered that once he could speak cat, he automatically had the ability to speak to all animals, and had full control over them, as they are lower than humans and not as intelligent. He created a pact with the animals, and he and his family were greatly known among them. Markus Wenderlen found out about Lucas’ ability, he wanted to be able to communicate too, so he could take control over all animals, and use them to build his power. He was greedy, your average villain. He wanted to control the world. Animals are friendly to all Varlentians, and are on our side of this fight. This is the big reason this fight has been going on for centuries.” I realized I had been holding my breath, and exhaled. I was stunned, I had thought my dad was only overreacting, but being able to control animals, that was something. This fight was serious, and Connor and Sarah were involved; and they were on the wrong side.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 5:43 pm on April 8, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
So Awesome!! Cool Twist!! Please Continue!!
Ryzee Cahill :)
At my lemonade stand I used to give away the first glass for free, and charge five dollars for the refill. It contained the antidote :)
GO SMILEY FACES :)
Posted at: 12:53 am on April 9, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
This is really, really good. I love how you use the semicolons. Only a few people know how to and and actually do use them. *cough* English teachers *cough* It's awesome that you can. I can, but I just don't use them that often. Good job! I love the story line and the plot. You are going to go far with this.
"Just when you think my character can't get any cooler, I do." -Legolas
legolas greenleaf
Posted at: 1:40 pm on April 10, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Please keep posting on this guys!!! I know this sounds pathetic but it makes me feel better. LOL
Chapter 1 Part 10
I sat down on the empty leather chair, my entire body shaking. I knew that it wasn’t definite that Sarah’s dream was real, and it was possible that the two of them weren’t Wenderlens and knew nothing about this whole business, but if they were, I didn’t know what I would do. “Well,” I said, “I guess you’ve answered all my questions, I’ll go now.” I slowly stood up and took a step towards the door. Now that my dad had proved to be good, I wondered if I should ask him about the file, and the locked cabinet. After pondering a bit, my dad interrupted my thoughts, choosing to communicate with his mind instead of out loud. “You do realize, Evelyn,” He started, “that since you have started to believe that I am no evil person, I will let down my guard on you, and will leave you to your thoughts. This is the end of the mind monitoring I have done since you were a child. You are free.” A smile spread across my face, I was free, and I slowly walked out the study. I sighed a contented sigh and started up the stairs. Suddenly, I remembered I had told Sarah I had gone to get cookies so I dashed to the kitchen and grabbed a few, then hurried back up the stairs, hoping my conversation with my dad hadn’t been as long as it had felt. I walked into Sarah’s room and handed her the cookies with a smile. “Evelyn,” She started, “what took you so long? You’ve been gone for ten minutes.” Ten minutes, I mused, I didn’t know it was that long. I racked my brain for an excuse, thinking fast. “I, uh,” I began, “it – dad asked me to make him a cup of coffee.” I held my breath, and watched her face carefully, hoping she would buy my story. There was no way I could tell her about the conversation, or my training, or mind reading, or anything for that matter. She smiled uncertainly, “Alright.” she finally replied. I let out my breath, and suddenly realized how lonely I had become. Even my own sister and brother didn’t know me the way they ought to. And all because of this ancient fight that I had become tangled up in. The only person who really knew me was my dad. “Ok, Sarah,” I began, “do you need help with anything else, or are you done?” She smiled, “No, not at all, I’m fine now, really. I’ve got all the atomic masses down easy.” I returned her smile and then quickly retreated to my room. I lay down on my bed and thought over the events of that day. So much had happened in so little time.
Chapter 1 Part 10
I sat down on the empty leather chair, my entire body shaking. I knew that it wasn’t definite that Sarah’s dream was real, and it was possible that the two of them weren’t Wenderlens and knew nothing about this whole business, but if they were, I didn’t know what I would do. “Well,” I said, “I guess you’ve answered all my questions, I’ll go now.” I slowly stood up and took a step towards the door. Now that my dad had proved to be good, I wondered if I should ask him about the file, and the locked cabinet. After pondering a bit, my dad interrupted my thoughts, choosing to communicate with his mind instead of out loud. “You do realize, Evelyn,” He started, “that since you have started to believe that I am no evil person, I will let down my guard on you, and will leave you to your thoughts. This is the end of the mind monitoring I have done since you were a child. You are free.” A smile spread across my face, I was free, and I slowly walked out the study. I sighed a contented sigh and started up the stairs. Suddenly, I remembered I had told Sarah I had gone to get cookies so I dashed to the kitchen and grabbed a few, then hurried back up the stairs, hoping my conversation with my dad hadn’t been as long as it had felt. I walked into Sarah’s room and handed her the cookies with a smile. “Evelyn,” She started, “what took you so long? You’ve been gone for ten minutes.” Ten minutes, I mused, I didn’t know it was that long. I racked my brain for an excuse, thinking fast. “I, uh,” I began, “it – dad asked me to make him a cup of coffee.” I held my breath, and watched her face carefully, hoping she would buy my story. There was no way I could tell her about the conversation, or my training, or mind reading, or anything for that matter. She smiled uncertainly, “Alright.” she finally replied. I let out my breath, and suddenly realized how lonely I had become. Even my own sister and brother didn’t know me the way they ought to. And all because of this ancient fight that I had become tangled up in. The only person who really knew me was my dad. “Ok, Sarah,” I began, “do you need help with anything else, or are you done?” She smiled, “No, not at all, I’m fine now, really. I’ve got all the atomic masses down easy.” I returned her smile and then quickly retreated to my room. I lay down on my bed and thought over the events of that day. So much had happened in so little time.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 12:09 pm on April 15, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
LOVE UR STORY!!!!!!!!!!
Today is a gift
Thats why its called the present...
Ekatrina
ASHWINI :D
Posted at: 4:06 am on April 16, 2012
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THIS IS FANTASTIC!!!!!!! Like, this is one of the top stories!!!!! I totally love it!!!!! :)
-Kim :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
-Kim :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Kimberly :D
Wind and Fire Speaker
A CHAIN REACTION OF COMPASSION
Posted at: 5:02 pm on April 17, 2012
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<3 it.
Miks
Be sure to vote in the Ekaterina Elections! :)
Posted at: 10:46 pm on April 17, 2012
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This is really good I want to hear more
Melissa
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15% Tomas
15% Lucian
20% Ekat
Madrigal CIC!!!
Ginger
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I love mental giraffes!!!!!
Posted at: 11:23 pm on April 17, 2012
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Thanks for all the posting guys!!! Will hopefully post later and I'll try to post more often too!!
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 2:03 pm on April 22, 2012
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Nice Story!
Proud Christian
If President Snow were to write a biography, it would be called... To Kill a Mockingjay
Try Matched by Ally Condie and Divergent by Veronica Roth
~Dystopian Lover~
Posted at: 2:08 pm on April 23, 2012
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<~)#^*~Alyssa~*^#(~>
Shadow Hunter`s Rule!
Posted at: 3:42 pm on April 23, 2012
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Yay guyss!!! Thanks for posting!!! If you have any ideas please tell me... I'm soooo sorry I didn't post on Sunday it's just that I had writer's block among other things.... I was like soooo scared because it's the first time I everr got writer's block... I don't know what happened. Anyways.... to the story...
Chapter 1 Part 11
After thinking over all that had happened and organizing my thoughts, a trick I used to settle down, I remembered that Connor was arriving the next day. Suddenly, I was afraid of what I would find when he came. Would he be the same old Connor, or would he be changed? Would he be telekinetic? Would he know about my mind reading? I shivered, as I realized what that would mean. It would mean that we would be enemies. Of course, I would never hurt him, but there was no knowing what he would do to me. “No,” I thought, “he would never do that. If he really is telekinetic, then I could easily talk some sense into him and he’ll listen.” For what seemed like the hundredth time, I wished I wasn’t involved in any of it. That my responsibilities as a Varlentian would magically disappear, and that the Wenderlens and Varlentians would cease to exist. That I could live a normal life – or as normal a life as a child genius can have. I sighed; those luxuries were past me, they were unreachable. I realized I was sinking in my thoughts, and that it was becoming buried in them, so I decided to do the only thing I could do: meditate. As I cleared my mind, I felt an air of peace settle around me. Nothing could penetrate my meditation, nothing. Not even my concerns about Connor and Sarah. Not even my dad. Nothing. I meditated for a few hours, although it didn’t feel half that long. When I finished, I felt refreshed and at peace. All the concerns and questions I had had were pushed away to the back of my head; I could tackle them tomorrow, when I would be ready for them. My stomach growled, and I realized how famished I was. I sprinted downstairs, and found my mom, dad, and Sarah already eating dinner. “That’s odd.” I thought, “They didn’t call me.” As if reading my mind, my mom said, “We would have called you down, Evelyn, but when we sent Sarah to get you she told us you were meditating so we decided to let you continue until you wanted.” I smiled and took my seat at the table and helped myself to dinner. That night, I got ready and lay down in bed, my heart pounding as I wondered what would happen when Connor arrived.
Chapter 1 Part 11
After thinking over all that had happened and organizing my thoughts, a trick I used to settle down, I remembered that Connor was arriving the next day. Suddenly, I was afraid of what I would find when he came. Would he be the same old Connor, or would he be changed? Would he be telekinetic? Would he know about my mind reading? I shivered, as I realized what that would mean. It would mean that we would be enemies. Of course, I would never hurt him, but there was no knowing what he would do to me. “No,” I thought, “he would never do that. If he really is telekinetic, then I could easily talk some sense into him and he’ll listen.” For what seemed like the hundredth time, I wished I wasn’t involved in any of it. That my responsibilities as a Varlentian would magically disappear, and that the Wenderlens and Varlentians would cease to exist. That I could live a normal life – or as normal a life as a child genius can have. I sighed; those luxuries were past me, they were unreachable. I realized I was sinking in my thoughts, and that it was becoming buried in them, so I decided to do the only thing I could do: meditate. As I cleared my mind, I felt an air of peace settle around me. Nothing could penetrate my meditation, nothing. Not even my concerns about Connor and Sarah. Not even my dad. Nothing. I meditated for a few hours, although it didn’t feel half that long. When I finished, I felt refreshed and at peace. All the concerns and questions I had had were pushed away to the back of my head; I could tackle them tomorrow, when I would be ready for them. My stomach growled, and I realized how famished I was. I sprinted downstairs, and found my mom, dad, and Sarah already eating dinner. “That’s odd.” I thought, “They didn’t call me.” As if reading my mind, my mom said, “We would have called you down, Evelyn, but when we sent Sarah to get you she told us you were meditating so we decided to let you continue until you wanted.” I smiled and took my seat at the table and helped myself to dinner. That night, I got ready and lay down in bed, my heart pounding as I wondered what would happen when Connor arrived.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 7:17 pm on April 23, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Write more please!
Proud Christian
If President Snow were to write a biography, it would be called... To Kill a Mockingjay
Try Matched by Ally Condie and Divergent by Veronica Roth
~Dystopian Lover~
Posted at: 8:44 pm on April 26, 2012
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If you guys are wondering why CH1/Nur isn't adding more to the story it's because he's in a writing contest! If you like his story vote for him! I'll post the link later
Proud Christian
If President Snow were to write a biography, it would be called... To Kill a Mockingjay
Try Matched by Ally Condie and Divergent by Veronica Roth
~Dystopian Lover~
Posted at: 12:18 pm on April 27, 2012
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Umm... I'm a girl...
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 4:44 pm on April 27, 2012
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This is so cool! Pls. continue! I'm
with your story! haha!
with your story! haha!
There is power in unity
Smile is the beginning of PEACE.
One person is of more value than the whole world
-Lhanaya Faith Cahill
(Please call me Lhany)
Posted at: 8:05 am on April 28, 2012
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Sorry!
Proud Christian
If President Snow were to write a biography, it would be called... To Kill a Mockingjay
Try Matched by Ally Condie and Divergent by Veronica Roth
~Dystopian Lover~
Posted at: 4:23 pm on April 28, 2012
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TurtleAgent2: Don't worry about it! My name could be a boy name... it's both
Here's the next part... I hope I can end chapter 1 soon!
Chapter 1 Part 12
It was pitch-black; I couldn’t tell where I was. Suddenly, the door opened and I was blinded by a bright yellow light. I squinted, and covered my eyes. Through my fingers, I could see a dark figure walk in, and stand in the doorway. The silhouette stood, tall and impressive, and I shrank back in fear. A voice that I recognized to be Connor’s spoke, “Evelyn.” It said, “Evelyn. Come to me, Evelyn, I won’t hurt you.” The voice was so hypnotic, that even though I didn’t want to listen to it, I was obliged to. Like a puppet, I stood up and walked towards him. Suddenly, the figure leaped on me, attacking me. “You must submit to the Wenderlens!” Connor cried. His voice echoed through my head as I slowly lost consciousness.
My alarm clock went off, and I woke up from the nightmare, my heart pounding loudly. I wiped the sweat from my face, and slowly sat up in bed. I checked the clock beside me; the glowing numbers read seven o’clock in the morning. I hit the button and was overcome with silence. I couldn’t get over what I had dreamt, but tried to calm myself, to reassure myself that it was just a dream. Just a dream. In my mind, the nightmare played over and over again. I felt afraid, Connor would be arriving home in an hour and the nightmare had unnerved me. Because of the dream, I was one hundred percent sure that Connor was a Wenderlen, yet I hoped that I would still be wrong.
Here's the next part... I hope I can end chapter 1 soon!
Chapter 1 Part 12
It was pitch-black; I couldn’t tell where I was. Suddenly, the door opened and I was blinded by a bright yellow light. I squinted, and covered my eyes. Through my fingers, I could see a dark figure walk in, and stand in the doorway. The silhouette stood, tall and impressive, and I shrank back in fear. A voice that I recognized to be Connor’s spoke, “Evelyn.” It said, “Evelyn. Come to me, Evelyn, I won’t hurt you.” The voice was so hypnotic, that even though I didn’t want to listen to it, I was obliged to. Like a puppet, I stood up and walked towards him. Suddenly, the figure leaped on me, attacking me. “You must submit to the Wenderlens!” Connor cried. His voice echoed through my head as I slowly lost consciousness.
My alarm clock went off, and I woke up from the nightmare, my heart pounding loudly. I wiped the sweat from my face, and slowly sat up in bed. I checked the clock beside me; the glowing numbers read seven o’clock in the morning. I hit the button and was overcome with silence. I couldn’t get over what I had dreamt, but tried to calm myself, to reassure myself that it was just a dream. Just a dream. In my mind, the nightmare played over and over again. I felt afraid, Connor would be arriving home in an hour and the nightmare had unnerved me. Because of the dream, I was one hundred percent sure that Connor was a Wenderlen, yet I hoped that I would still be wrong.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 1:25 pm on April 29, 2012
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Awesome!
Proud Christian
If President Snow were to write a biography, it would be called... To Kill a Mockingjay
Try Matched by Ally Condie and Divergent by Veronica Roth
~Dystopian Lover~
Posted at: 12:19 pm on April 30, 2012
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Thanks for your commitment TurtleAgent2!!!
Chapter 1 Part 13
I got out of bed and put on my fuzzy pink slippers. I went through my usual routine, and decided to wear a pair of black jeans and a white flowing shirt. By the time I had eaten breakfast and finished getting ready, there were only ten minutes left until Connor would arrive. Of course, I was excited that I would see him for the first time since September, but I was also afraid of what I would find when he came. I was afraid of what he would be like, how he would act, what he would say, what he would know. The rest of my family had gone to pick him up, but I had insisted on staying home. So, with my heart pounding, I stood at the bottom of the main staircase, facing the doorway as I waited for the sound of the key turning in the lock, which would signify the arrival of the person I dreaded, yet loved with all my heart. Suddenly, I heard the car pull up into the driveway, and the sound of the car doors slamming. The door opened, and I held my breath as the first person stepped over the threshold: my brother. I smiled, forgetting all my worries and rushed at him, throwing my arms around his neck.
“Oh, Connor!” I exclaimed, “I missed you so much.” He pulled himself away from me, and looked me straight in the eyes. His liquid amber eyes, which were identical to mine, portrayed a mixture of sorrow and glee. “I missed you too.” He murmured in a quiet voice. The pace of my heartbeat quickened and I asked, “What’s wrong?” There was an edge to my voice, and I waited to see what he would say. “I have to tell you something important, I’ll explain later.” He said. I tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace, and I couldn’t help but wonder if what he had to say had something to do with my suspicions.
Chapter 1 Part 13
I got out of bed and put on my fuzzy pink slippers. I went through my usual routine, and decided to wear a pair of black jeans and a white flowing shirt. By the time I had eaten breakfast and finished getting ready, there were only ten minutes left until Connor would arrive. Of course, I was excited that I would see him for the first time since September, but I was also afraid of what I would find when he came. I was afraid of what he would be like, how he would act, what he would say, what he would know. The rest of my family had gone to pick him up, but I had insisted on staying home. So, with my heart pounding, I stood at the bottom of the main staircase, facing the doorway as I waited for the sound of the key turning in the lock, which would signify the arrival of the person I dreaded, yet loved with all my heart. Suddenly, I heard the car pull up into the driveway, and the sound of the car doors slamming. The door opened, and I held my breath as the first person stepped over the threshold: my brother. I smiled, forgetting all my worries and rushed at him, throwing my arms around his neck.
“Oh, Connor!” I exclaimed, “I missed you so much.” He pulled himself away from me, and looked me straight in the eyes. His liquid amber eyes, which were identical to mine, portrayed a mixture of sorrow and glee. “I missed you too.” He murmured in a quiet voice. The pace of my heartbeat quickened and I asked, “What’s wrong?” There was an edge to my voice, and I waited to see what he would say. “I have to tell you something important, I’ll explain later.” He said. I tried to smile, but it came out more like a grimace, and I couldn’t help but wonder if what he had to say had something to do with my suspicions.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 6:10 pm on May 4, 2012
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Story About Mind Reading! comments and suggestions please!
Oh My Gosh!!! This story is AMAZING!!!! It is so creepy, yet like so cool! I'm one of the "guest" judges from Seekers writing contest that you entered!
Rosie
Rosie
“Be not afraid of greatness...achieve greatness... let greatness be thrustupon you.”- Me
Ekat Co-Leader
Rosie <3
Posted at: 6:23 pm on May 5, 2012
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Thank you so much Rosie! Also, I haven't been recieving any ideas or suggestions, just wondering if anyone had any. If you don't that's fine but don't hold back if you have even the slightest suggestion. I'd really appreciate it!!
I helped Connor take his suitcases upstairs. Since he lived in a dorm, he had to bring some of his clothes with him for the holiday. The one I was carrying was particularly heavy, and I struggled to lift it up the many stairs that were left to go. Huffing, I dumped the suitcase on his bed with a thump and sat down on his bed. “So,” I panted nervously, “what was it that you wanted to tell me?” I fiddled with the handle of the suitcase nervously as I waited for his reply. He took a deep breath and said, “Well, you probably won’t believe me. I mean, I didn’t believe him myself at the beginning, but then when he showed me… I thought otherwise. Anyways, just believe me when I tell you this, okay?” He looked deeply into my eyes, and I nodded slowly, wondering what I was getting myself into. “Okay, what I want to tell you is… I’m telekinetic.” He looked at me, and I could tell he was checking if I believed him or not. “Do you believe me?” He asked unsurely. I nodded again, choosing to say nothing in case I would accidentally spill anything about the stuff I was keeping from him. “Wow.” He mused, “I just – guess I didn’t think you would believe me so quickly. I didn’t really expect that. It feels so good telling someone. But… that isn’t everything I was going to tell you. You see, it all happened on the first day of October. I had a weird dream about you. In the dream, you could read minds and you were looking through all my secrets. In the dream, you were like my enemy or something, and I was telekinetic in the dream too. I used my mind to throw a vase at you, and then you fled. It was so… scary. After I woke up that same day, I had physiological psychology with Professor Weisberg. After the lecture, he called me over and started talking to me about telekinesis. He explained how it was real, and that it actually existed. I was genuinely interested, and when he offered to teach it to me, I immediately agreed. After I had learned the basics, he showed me that he was part of an organization called the Wenderlens, which is a global network organization made up solely of telekinetics. I joined them. He explained that we were fighting against this mind reader organization called the Varlentians, and that they held the secret to talking to animals, and controlling them. He told me that if the Wenderlens possessed this ability, they would be able to help the world for the better, but that the Varlentians were greedy and reluctant to give it up. I know this all sounds crazy, and I don’t even know why I’m telling you about it, it’s just that I felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell someone.”
I sighed inwardly. Now that Connor had confided in me, I felt even worse about keeping my mind reading skills a secret from him. From what he had said, it seemed that the Wenderlens were the good guys, although from what my dad had said, the Varlentians were the same. Suddenly, it dawned on me that I truly didn’t know who was right and who was wrong. Obviously, Connor thought the Wenderlens were right because he had been taught by a Wenderlen. I had thought, up until that point, that the Varlentians were right because I had been taught by a Varlentian. This meant I would never know the truth until I could see what was actually going on, and not have it told to me out of the mouth of somebody who was involved in it. All at once, I knew what I had to do. I took a deep breath, and began.
~Nur~
I am the rays of hope of the rising sun,
I am the ambient sun at its zenith,
I am the radiant red of the sunset.
I am light. I am Nur.
Posted at: 10:11 am on May 6, 2012
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EPICNESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :D
-Kim :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Kimberly :D
Wind and Fire Speaker
A CHAIN REACTION OF COMPASSION
Posted at: 5:21 pm on May 6, 2012
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oh awesome!!!! i guess rosie beat me to it :) but i just want to say: I LOVED IT!!! you my friend, have talent :) it's got that air of mystery, adventure, and it's also got the good vs. evil thing going, and so much more... it's hard to explain, but in short, i want to read more! it has good detail, nice story line, awesome chatacters, and more! i think you have a really REALLY really good shot at winning the writing contest! anyway, please keep checking the writing contest to see your rank, and more! good luck! and happy hunting!
-seeker
united we stand divided we fall
real or not real
books=life
where there is love there is life
I'm very definately a woman and i enjoy it
you don't know you're beautiful
Posted at: 9:06 pm on May 6, 2012
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